INTRODUCTION

THE PATH TOWARDS TRANSFORMATION

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels, demons, heaven or hell”

- Sree Buddha

Know thyself is an ancient Greek aphorism. It is believed that this aphorism was inscribed on the forecourt of the temple of Apollo Delphi in Greece. Know thyself is the beginning of wisdom and is often attributed to Socrates, which literally means knowing oneself. Knowledge of oneself helps to master and develop oneself. This eventually benefits oneself, others and the society at large. Know thyself is an appeal for self help. Knowing oneself had a great impact on our behaviour, decision making and relationships. This book helps you to know ourselves better and use that knowledge to get mastery over ourselves. Knowing oneself is the first step towards self- mastery.

Need and objective of this manual

The objective of this manual is to satisfy the needs of parents, counsellors, adolescent students, teachers, mentors and coaches. The commanding teacher and the most obedient students had turned out to be a myth in all parts of world. Students are more aware of their rights and they expect respect from teachers, parents and elders. The respect towards their attitudes, likes, dislikes and their choices. From my experience of teaching adolescent students for over the last 20 years had taught me many lessons. I find greater needs for guidance among adolescence. Since they spend most of their time on academic learning in the present day highly competitive world, they require guidance on how to behave properly.

Adolescence is the transition period from childhood to adulthood. Till recently this was not considered as an important life span since once they reach puberty, they were regarded as adults. They go to work either in the fields or learn a trade for their livelihood and they would even get married in many of the societies and assign them the full responsibilities of an adult. But now the world became more complex which requires the adolescence to learn a lot of skills and acquire more knowledge in their fields of study. They need more time to acquire it. This put them in the educational institutions for a longer time. There they are not considered as fully adults since they are not financially independent or ready to take up a job. The world of work is very vast, complex and continually changing. They require additional skills to get accommodated to the changing world of work and life styles. So the need for guidance arises.

Adolescents don’t get much time for face to face interaction with friends or other adults. They don’t get opportunity for social learning through modelling, which is a time consuming process. Teachers are now facing more problems of misbehaving and disciplinary problems than ever before in their classrooms and schools. Most teachers transfer these cases to counsellors and parents. The principal who also once belonged to the army of teachers - most times, stands in the middle of the battle ground without an armour or effective weapons or with weapons which he never knows how to operate.

Teacher education in many parts of the world is focused on effective transaction of academic subjects and doesn’t cater to the real needs of the classroom, especially on how to handle disciplinary problems in the classroom. This is one of the major reasons for why many youth doesn’t opt for a career in school as a teacher. Some existing teachers are also happy to leave the profession despite being paid comparatively well for their work. A lot of research is taking place around the world on how to tackle the disciplinary problem. But still the teachers are struggling with this problem. Parents are happy to handover the responsibility to the school officials and they expect that teachers should be experts in that area. They are already busy with their work and they pay their tax or school fees for the service. Parents don’t like to hear badly about their child.

Then other person who has to take the responsibility is the school counsellors. But some schools don’t have a counsellor. Even if a counsellor is present, he could handle only serious cases of misbehaviour because schools can’t afford to have so many counsellors. Some Counsellors are inexperienced and students are likely to behave well with them and they don’t find an issue with the student. Some of them will be referred to a therapist. It all depends on the attitude of the parents whether they consult with a therapist or not. The other group of professionals who work are coaches. They impart life skills to adolescents. But they are too expensive for most schools to afford. Their service will not be available for every problem that occurs in the school. It is also very difficult to find efficient coaches in every part of the world.

What I would like to convey you in a nutshell is that it becomes the primary responsibility of the teacher to make sure that there is a healthy relationship between teachers and students and also among teachers and students themselves. This manual is prepared taking the needs of the adolescent students who attend the school and also on how the teachers can effectively intervene. It will also benefit the parents of adolescents and everyone else who interact with adolescents. The knowledge about the behaviour pattern of adolescents can greatly benefit the parents. It helps them to predict their behaviour and find reasons for their change in behaviour - which provides them with more tolerance, patience and be more empathetic towards them. The adolescents themselves can also be benefitted by recognising the nature of their own behaviour and the ways to alter their own unhealthy behaviour patterns.

A lot of research is being conducted all around the world in the disciplines of education and psychology regarding the inappropriate behaviour patterns of adolescent students. But most times the results and the knowledge acquired through research end up there itself without being carried over effectively to the teachers, who in my view are the soldiers in the midst of the battlefield without armour. Most of the research reports contain too many technical jargons and also doesn’t contain clear protocol on how to convert this precious knowledge into practical school settings.

Many countries around the globe don’t promote the research which is conducted by teachers. They are neither given proper training to do research nor their findings getting highlighted in the society. They even think that it is not the job of the school teacher to do research, which is the sole property of researchers attached to the university and institutes of higher learning. When me as a school teacher approached a senior University professor for providing guidance to do my doctoral work he asked me why these school teachers should go for research. At least in some countries they are being looked down upon despite being given gifts and flowers on the Teachers Day. Some believe that they don’t have the calibre to do independent research. The degree of this attitude differs from country to country and there may be some exceptions, but it is not the case everywhere.

Some governments had put up separate curriculum to teach life skills, but many of them didn’t. Even in the places where the curriculum is implemented, it is not properly done. Teachers are not given proper training and failed to build up confidence building measures among teaches regarding their own efficacy to deal with such a curriculum. Many of them still feel that teachers should concentrate at the proper transaction of the different academic subjects. They evaluate themselves on this basis, like how many of their students got highest grade etc. Since teachers make constant contact with the adolescent students, they should be well equipped with the skills necessary to cope with the problems that arise in the class room and school. They should not be left at the mercy of the other professionals or a couple of teachers for every crisis.

The thriving business like management skill training workshops, workshops on the science of mind, different modes of psychological therapies, positive thinking skills etc. are affordable only to an elite few. These are the areas for many to make huge amount of money with little investment. So chances are many that frauds will also make a play. So what I personally feel is that proper self -management skills shouldn’t remain to be a mystery to the common man so that the above business will not flourish. The knowledge should be benefited to the common man. So why don’t we make psychology and the related fields more popular and cost-effective. Let every teacher learn how to prevent or manage behaviour problems of their students and enable them to make healthy human relationships. There should be a social movement among the teachers to press their respective governments to make these types of skill acquisition programs available to them.

These skill acquisition programs make teaching in the school more hassle-free and enjoyable. It is at the adolescence period that students are more difficult to manage. Students may not even know themselves that they had a problem. But when they reach college and enters early adulthood, they may voluntarily seek the help of a professional to get rid of the problem. It is the right of every teacher to get the required knowledge and skills needed to manage the behaviour outcomes of the students. I am sure that this book would be of great help to the teachers, parents, counsellors, mentors and coaches who deal with adolescent students. Every effort has been made to make this book very brief, simple and application oriented. It contains activities that really sustain the interest of adolescent students. The goal is to empower every teacher to become great behaviour management experts so that they can go to their classrooms with their heads high up with a feeling of high enthusiasm and high self - confidence.

Adolescence is a period of great change. It is at this period that some of them start to think about their own behaviour and make introspection. But they don’t know how to do it properly. They need help, but generally teachers and parents are busy with teaching the so called academic subjects, which according to them are very crucial for their future. We forget to teach them the science of self which helps to gain wisdom. Adolescence is a stage of transformation from childhood to adulthood, dependence to independence. A noticeable change in behaviour patterns, attitudes, likes, dislikes, choices, priorities etc. happens during this time. It is also the time when he changes from an asexual being to a sexual being. Generally changes will happen normally. But our aim is not to make them normal adolescents but healthy adolescents.

The knowledge about self is like a mirror through which we see ourselves. We become more familiar with ourselves. We know our own attitudes, values, likes, dislikes, strength, weakness, ignorance, knowledge etc. through this process. The more we become familiar with ourselves, the more friendlier we become with our own behaviour. The rule is simple; we can’t love something that we don’t know. We remain no more as a stranger to ourselves. Through this process of familiarisation we can understand ourselves and others better. It helps to regulate our behaviour and also to find the reasons for our own behaviour. It is diving into oneself deeply.

There is an argument that life skill training may be imparted through regular academic subjects like Maths, social science and languages. There is no need for a particular separate curriculum for this purpose. The argument says that these skills should be acquired without a conscious effort. In my view there is an elements of truth in it, but not completely acceptable. The argument is that, don’t we have a right to know about ourselves and our behaviour? Why can’t the science of self be regarded as a core academic subject? Adolescent period is the right time to start with such an educational program. It is the time when they start to search for their own identity. However some aspects of the life skills can be transacted through the regular activities of the academic subjects.

Life skills like creative thinking and critical thinking can easily be enhanced through the activities which are specially designed within the regular school subjects like science and maths. Skills like management of relationships and management of emotions can be transacted through literature. Tactics like providing chances for group work, cooperative learning, debates etc. will also enhance some of the life skills. There they acquire life skills without being aware of it. The separate curriculum for life skills training helps them to recognise the science behind these types of activities and helps them to better acquire it. It allows them to recognise the importance of it.

Our next question is - can life skill training help us to know ourselves better? The answer is obviously, yes. According to W H O "life skills may be defined as abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life". Life skill training includes skills of knowing and living with oneself and skills of knowing and living with others. Skill of knowing and living with oneself is directly related to knowing oneself. We learn how to live in harmony with others. The next category of skills include knowing and living with others. These skills also helps one to know ourselves better, since others behaviour is a reflection of our own behaviour and vice versa. Here we get an insight into our own behaviour through the interaction with others. So it is obvious that life skill training is the path to know oneself as an adolescent. It will become the stepping stone for him to navigate into the wider, ever broadening science of self.

Many studies had provided that life skill training helped the teachers to manage the behavioural problems at school. It is also found to be beneficial for the adolescents who show delinquent behaviour. Its effect is not corrective alone but preventive too. Some studies had found that adolescents who had undergone life skills training could make healthy relationship with their peers, friends, teachers and parents. Imparting life skills acquisition programs for adolescence had gained much importance in the present day society throughout the world.

“Knowing others is intelligence, knowing your self is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power”

- Lao Tzu

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TRANSACTION OF THE LESSONS

This chapter provides you a brief outline of the contents and the guidelines for the proper transaction of the different units.

Brief outline of the content

The remaining part of this manual is divided into eleven chapters, besides the references and the appendices. Unit three deal with the characteristics of adolescence period from puberty to late adolescence. The physical, psychological, social, behavioural, cognitive and emotional developments of the three sub stages of adolescents are described. It also deals with the concerns and challenges faced by the adolescence and also the challenges faced by parents and teachers while guiding them. Unit four gives a short overview of the various life skills that need to be acquired by an adolescent and its proper classification Unit five deal with a list of interpersonal skills and the ways to acquire such skills through various activities. Unit six deal with a list of intra- personal skills and how to acquire such skills through activities and behavioural intervention programs. Unit seven familiarise you with the nature of stress and the ways to manage it. Unit eight contains the protocols of various behavioural intervention programs which can be comprehended without much effort. Unit nine describes a list of personal values and the impact of personal value system on our decision making process and behaviour. Unit ten gives an overview on Johari window – a window for self-analysis. The remaining three units deal with particular maladaptive behaviour patterns found among adolescence, namely addictive, suicidal and impulsive behaviour. Appendices contain some relevant worksheets and questionnaires to be used while transacting the lessons.

Guideline for transaction of different units