REALIZATION

Humans generally do not care for what they have than what they dont. They usually believe in achieving the ultimate desire of their choice. They submit their mind and energy concentrated on the fact that they are going to get it someday. When they achieve that, they lose everything that they had and run for attaining that back.

This happens with every person—be it be a spiritually enlightened person or a layman—and it has always continued over the years and maybe will continue forever. Dynasties have disappeared for this human urge and many have risen to power.

I am saying this because I have also suffered from this urge. This was due to a desire that I always had. Our mind is an extraordinary and powerful organ that has the capability to achieve almost anything it wants to achieve. It can make you a billionaire if you really want, or you can end up becoming broke with the same mind as yours. Still, it is also true that it is as soft as clay and from birth, it starts moulding itself in the way others mend it.

Back at home, I always thought that I was in a prison of some sort and was held captive with everyone trying to check every single move and making things a bit uncomfortable. But as every child, I went through that phase naturally until I made a choice, a choice to achieve something more, for which I had to leave the family.

I decided to study overseas for my further education, and it would turn out to be a long time for me. A person who had never stepped out alone in his own country had to personally undergo mentally rigourous training to acclimatize to the new surroundings. When I reached the place of my dreams, I realized that sometimes we expect something to happen early, and it turns out to be too early for us to discover the truth of life.

It was a long time from the time of my applications till the time I reached the airport. Yet, my thoughts kept killing me and haunting me with the fact that I was alone. It is contradictory and ironic for me to say such a thing, as back home, I was pleading to be released out of the so-called prison, and when I was, I realized that freedom was not that free.

Freedom comes with a price that one needs to pay. I paid that and with interest, too. I loved my home but never expressed my love. Whereas my family loved me so much that they did not want me out of their sight. Their love for me is still beyond bounds, but as I said before, humans do not value the things around them. I did care, but when I realized that I was doing injustice to myself by staying in a shell and by being like a bird in a cage, I decided to make a change in life.

Yeah, life, well, whatever you call it, is the weirdest of the weird mysteries that one can unfold. I have still not understood life very well, but so far, its been a very good learning experience for me. I have faced difficulties that I have had to overcome. Difficulties which I saw as difficult but which many may find a piece of cake. Well, they were what I called a “learning experience”.

I got done with school and college, and during all those twelve-fourteen years of education, every time I saw a beautiful picture of an overseas institute, I would imagine myself studying out there and making my parents proud. It came with a huge price, though, but I was willing to pay it. More than my parents, I underwent severe mental training to go and study in an overseas university. The moment I landed there I thought, what have I done? Am I prepared for whats going to come now? Such questions kept going around my brain like a rollercoaster, but I was unable to find the answer.

I soon entered my room, kept my bags inside, emptied my bags out, and with every piece of shirt I took out, I remembered the person who packed the bag with love and care. I emptied my whole luggage and soon got settled. I immediately gave a missed call back home and realized that it was too early for that. I heard my mothers voice heavy with sleep, but as soon as she heard my voice, she was as fresh as a young child and spoke with me as if she hadnt heard from me in ages.