The Goo Goo Guide to Life

When I told Geet, “Main tumhare bacche ki ma banne wali hoon,” (I am going to become a mother) I didn’t realize that my life would be over! Not only did I ‘delicately’ throw up my chicken Hakka noodles, but with it, I threw out my independence, my sanity and all my good clothes.

For what!

For smelly diapers, dark circles under my eyes and for many long hours of talking to myself as my only source of entertainment.

What do I get in return?

The most kissable cheeks in the whole world, the clearest, purest song-filled eyes and a smile that makes you want to cry. If you thought having children was a serious job, forget it. Humour is the one thing that will help you retain your wits, your car and your house. Children are the most exasperating and the most lovable beings ever created.

Try this for size - You enter your son’s room and he’s trying to launch his sister as a rocket. You are just in time to stop the countdown and ask him why he chose to convert his sister into Voyager-1.

He replies, “I don’t know.”

You ask, “You don’t know that you were just about to launch your sister?”

He looks deadpan, shrugs and responds, “I don’t know.”

This is what being a parent is all about. When you have just finished with the “Why” stage, you get the “I don’t know stage,” and when that is over, you are into the “You don’t know” stage.

And the questions – don’t forget the questions – I mean, I love being with my children, but stop already!

“Mama, why does the sun go to sleep?”

“Mama, why does the moon follow us?”

“Mama, why are you called mama?”

…Mama this and Mama that.

The grey hairs you notice springing from your luxuriant mane is a sure indication that you have entered the hallowed halls of parenting. It is the only job in the world with no holidays, no extra pay for overtime and yet, maximum perks. To be trusted so implicitly – to be the one person that can make anything happen – is a responsibility your shoulders suddenly grow to take on so effortlessly.