First part

Anita was very excited. Her result was going to be out today. She was crazy with happiness, but as soon as her result came out she was disappointed. She had scored only 65% in 12th. All the teachers were expecting more than 90% from her. Her parents also had the same expectations from her. Some students in college had even challenged Anita that they would score more marks than Anita and that is what happened. Their results were better than Anita’s.

Anita was the most intelligent girl in her class. She was not able to accept the fact that she had scored so low marks. She was crying. She had worked very hard. She had faced many situations in her life, but she always got up again and persuaded herself and tried again.

Earlier she was very weak in studies. She was considered the weakest girl in the class. Once a teacher told her, “You are only meant for cooking and cooking, this paper is not for you” (she tore her notebook and threw it on her face) when all her English translations were wrong. At that time all the children were laughing at her as if there was some circus show going on.This incident still hurts her even though her teachers now considered her the most brilliant student, but by scoring good marks in 12th, she wanted to show that she was not just made for cooking and cooking but even today her luck did not favour her, she was very disappointed and frustrated. She was crying. Her parents, friends, teachers, no one congratulated her for passing. She was crying a lot. She did not eat for many days. She never let her tears fall in front of her parents so that they do not get worried about her, but she did not give up, she wanted to do 12th again. Seeing this madness of hers, her mother says- “Now if you give 12th exam again, you will not get more than 90% marks, don’t go crazy.” But she does not listen and she studies 12th again and even the second time her luck did not favour her, this time she got 60%, once again frustration and disappointment slapped her hard. “In class, all students think themselves to be brilliant but when they sit for the board exams, everything becomes crystal clear.” (Anita’s classmate taunts her on her second failure.) But who knows that the talent of a child is not hidden in his/her percentage, when there is so much corruption in every field.


Second Part

Whom would Anita tell the story of her failure?

Why would anyone believe the words of a failed person?

She made friends with pen and paper and started putting her silence on paper and chose literature as her goal. She started writing poems. Day and night she kept herself immersed in waves of emotions. Her daily routine became completely chaotic. She would never eat food. She would not even take bath for many days. She had become passionate about poetry and literature. Once she went to a party with her parents, where she met poet Ankita Mavalankar. She was very excited about her poetry. She recited one of her poems to Ankita Mavalankar.

“You write very good poems.”

“If I call you to recite a poem on stage, will you come?”

“Of course I will definitely come.”
The party ends. Anita comes home with her parents. Today Anita was very happy. She continued her writing. She was as honest about her work as she was about herself and others.

One day Ankita Mavalkar called and invited Anita to recite a poem. She told her the address where she had to come. She went there without telling her parents because Anita’s father was not very happy with her work, he said that -“Today, poems are written by chat, GPT and Al.

That too without plagiarism and it is a big fool to waste your time on the work which machines are doing.” But Anita’s love for literature was not less. Anita goes there. Ankita Mavalkar calls Anita to the changing room. Anita goes. Ankita Mavalkar was changing clothes. Anita starts going out to recite a poem on the stage.

“Wait!”

“Didi, you change your clothes, then I will come otherwise you will feel uncomfortable.”

“No-no, nothing like that.”
“Sometimes there is a crowd, still we have to change our clothes.”

“Sometimes there is a huge crowd in the hall, still we have to change our clothes.”

“Sometimes something bad happens to some people that they are neither able to tell anyone nor bear it.” (Ankita Mavalankar says in sympathetic words.)

“Well, this has never happened to me.”

Anita was very sad to hear her words.

“Are poets and poetesses as respectable on stage as they are lacking self-respect from inside?”

“Of course they are, but not all.”

“All this goes on in this field.”

“Sorry, I cannot become a toy for someone’s entertainment.”

“I cannot do such a thing in which I feel more lack of self-respect than respect.”

“Hey! Wait a minute!”
But she does not listen to Ankita Mavalankar and she starts going towards home with her teary eyes. Once again life made her sad. Today again coming home she spilled her tears on the pages. She still continued writing. Slowly she wrote a book. A collection of poems, Anita wanted to publish it but she was not able to understand where to publish her book. For the last several months she had stopped going anywhere. She did not go to any wedding, program, party. She had locked herself in a room. She had cut herself off from the outside world. She called Ankita Mavalankar.

“Didi I have written a book, will you help me in publishing it?”

Sorry I cannot help you. Why do you need me now? The publisher will come himself. Seeing the brightness of your character he will publish your book." (Ankit Mavlankar replied in bitter words and hung up.) Then she thought of publishing her book online. She typed her 200+ pages book herself on Microsoft Word. When she finally started publishing online, she saw that all the online publications were charging a fee to publish a good book.
She could not ask her parents for money because they would have asked her to stop this work. She felt very helpless and powerless today.

She banged her hands on the walls. She pulled at her hair and slapped herself but she did not feel any pain. Her mental pain was more today.

She stood in front of the mirror and looked at her face. Her eyes were filled with tears. Her cheeks had the wrinkles of a 40 year old. Half of her hair had turned white. She asked herself-“Is what she is doing right?” The answer came from within her- “It is wrong.”

Her breathing became twice as fast. She tore up all her poems and burnt them and she found herself very weak and unsuccessful.

Third Part

She never shared her sorrows with anyone because she believed that friends cannot remain friends forever. She did not want to make a spectacle of her weakness by sharing her sorrows with anyone. The next day she sat by the window and kept looking outside. Then she convinced herself and at around 10 in the night she came out of her eighth storey house and left for a walk on the road. She felt a little happy after coming out of the cage. The roads were still busy. It was a common thing in the city till 10 or 12:00. People kept coming and going. Anita was walking. Two old men were coming from the front talking to each other. They were talking about the girls seen on the road at 10:00 in the night.

“All these girls seen on the roads are characterless.”

“No girl from a respectable family is seen outside at this time of the night.”

“Oh! No matter how independent the girls become, they look good only when they are covered in veil and within the threshold.” (An old man says to another old man.)

“Hey! These are not girls, they are prostitutes.”

(The other agreed with her.) Anita’s throat started choking after listening to their words. She felt that no matter how independent a girl becomes, how she starts roaming alone on the streets, the invisible walls standing around her can never be broken. Girls are still objects of consumption for the male society. In the name of freedom, the male society just gives her a rattle toy. Anita could not stop herself and went home crying and locked herself in the room. She closed all her windows. Closed the curtains. And kept sobbing. She fell asleep.
Part 4

Anita was sitting near the window. Turning her tears into silence, the windows were open. Winds were blowing. Her mother was collecting the clothes in her room.

“Mother, why does this window never open?”

“The window is open.”

“Where is it open? This window made by you is open.”

“Look! The window in front of this one is always closed.” “There is no window in front of this one, there is the open sky.” (Saying this, Anita’s mother leaves.)

Today Anita met me. She put her head on my shoulder in great sadness and going into immense peace, she closed her eyes and told me everything. She looked like a very sweet innocent child when her head was on my shoulder.

She called me a friend. She told me that she had never called me a friend before because she thought that her bad luck would take me away from her.

Fifth Part

After meeting her yesterday, I was coming to Anita’s house to meet her. Then I saw a crowd of people gathered below the building of her house. Seeing such a crowd, I feared an accident. I ran towards the crowd. I saw Anita lying in a pool of blood with her eyes closed.

Anita had committed suicide by jumping from the window of her room. Then I went to her room from where she had committed suicide by jumping. There was a piece of paper lying near that window. I picked it up and opened it.

It was written in it – “Whenever I sit near this window, I see another window in front. But my mother does not see it, she says – “There is an open sky.” Perhaps this window is invisible which is visible only to me but it is always closed. Today I am going out by opening this closed window.”

I am very sorry that I cannot fulfill her last wish because this is the invisible window in which women living freely are locked and it can never open.