When I opened my eyes, I was on floor my back against the wall, holding a knife in my hand covered in blood where it came from I was unsure of.
I tried to move but my body ache as if someone has tied me up and beaten to death. Until, I found out one of leg was tied with a string and wounds on my leg and hands are another question that added on my curious mind.
I mustered up my courage and wriggled to follow the string just to find out "I murdered someone." The floor was filled with blood, I placed my hand on something just to find out it was finger.
I sat there for minutes, I do not have energy to move forward. I shouted for help though there was none. There was stillness in the room as the wind went to sleep, the moon didn't peak in the room but the stars could not stop themselves to deliver the tragedy to the universe.
The twinkling light of stars were enough for me to inspect the room.
I shouted for help, tried to move, the knife was still in my hand and I desired to cut my veins for good.
Though, dying won't be an option for me. I don't want to disappoint my family and God too.
I panicked for a bit just to calm my nerves to found a way to rescue me.
I followed the string again, moving forward in a hope there won't be any chopped body parts anymore.
Still, it was just a hopeless hope I kept hoping for. I found 2 chopped fingers and a thumb, additionally a hand too.
When I touched the hand, I thought there is someone lying down there and I yelled "Are you in your senses?" There was no response so I touched the hand and moved upward to reach out for shoulder or chest.
There was no shoulder or an arm. The hand was chopped of the corpse.
This must be a nightmare, I couldn't wait to get out from here.
I felt stuck and have no consciousness to find out what's happening. Am I dreaming or someone abducted me?
Are they going to sell me? Did they kill someone for money or because of stubbornness? I had doubt, fear and a bit of courage to free myself from here.
Though, I was unaware of the place, how I came here? Where was I? The outcome won't be possible without discerning the problem.
I had no memory of the past and the one who could help me is the corpse that was chopped. I still hope there is breath in them.
"Is someone there? Can you hear me? Help me out?" My voice shaking in fear. Though there was stillness in the air and room was filled with silence.
I dediced to glance at the face and the look of it frightened me.
I threw the knife on the ground, my eyes wide open and hands covering my mouth, my heart was about to quit and the soul already left the corpse.
I moved here and there just for some light to look at the dead body again. I somehow, saw the moon peeking through the windows and lightening the room as if he want to be part of the investigation and do justice.
I looked at it again, it was a girl in her mid 20s, her hair laid on the ground open, her green dress almost turned in a different color as soaked in blood. Her heart ripped of her chest, the eyes were shedding blood as tears, the fingers chopped. A dairy and a pen were rested there near her.
I reached out to the dairy and read it. There was a letter written.
Dear Dairy,
Thank you for reaching out to me as a friend, if it weren't you I would have been alone in this life span. You were the only who knew me by heart. My good and bad, my dreams and mishap, you know each moment of my life. You know how I craved to write.
Yet, I never knew you will ever read this that I am done with this life. I have no hope. It's been a long since I stopped talking with you.
Since then, my life never remained the same. My dreams got shattered and I have no one to hear my thoughts or to tell me to relax and find a way to overcome it.
I have a lot of things in my heart but the words that seems to run in my veins are slowly turning into claret.
I hope in the life when we met I won't quit on you and my dreams. I won't let the words in my veins to be vanished.
Love, Ray
"Ray" That's me.
I murdered me. The chopped fingers, the ripped heart was of me. The diary that belongs to 13 years old me, which I could save from burning has my last note in it.
I hugged the dairy, my cheeks wet. I couldn't save anyone. The dairy, my dream and me.
My body shivering in pain when someone juggled me as if there's an earthquake.
My dream shattered again.
"Why were you shouting?" My mom concerned.
I hugged her tight. It was a dream. I didn't murdered myself. I won't even murder my dream. I didn't save my dairy though there would be no more death of me until the real one arrives.
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