I’m so sick of this mundane life. I smell like damn flowers all day, which might not seem bad at all but trust me, it gets to a point where you start appreciating smelling like absolutely nothing. If I had a dollar every time I heard, “you smell like flowers”, I’d be finally retiring. The doorbell rings, I get off my phone, a new face comes into my sight, making me stand up and smile…really smile. He’s pretty cute, for sure. He asks for the least selling flowers, “I require ten bouquets of red spider lilies, please.”, I scan him trying to match his beauty to his request. “Where do you want it delivered?”, I ask.
“I’ll let you know.”
Few months pass by. One of those days, my doorbell rings and I open the door to find a stranger at my door. He is dressed in what I can tell, a very expensive suit which means business. I undo my apron and try to fix my hair all while inviting him in. I offer him a latte, which I make with the best prescription I’m able to. He takes a sip of it and smiles, “that’s warm, especially in this cold weather.” After a few minutes of awkward silence, he takes out a piece of paper and places it on the middle of the table, beside the cup. I pick it up and immediately throw it back.
“I’m afraid you must leave.”, I speak, trying to be polite.
“Can I at least interest you in a conversation regarding this?”, he asks.
“Absolutely not.”
I close the door and open my text messages. There is no information that they’re going to show up. Weird. The GIE, a.k.a. the devils, as we call them. At first people didn’t take them seriously, but over the years the devils have risen up to be 70% of the population and our world is separated. GIE works on the principle of believing that God is “evil” after a deadly virus killed almost half the population ten years back. Gominh Ewan is the leader, or “messiah” of GIE. There are a lot of books and documentaries upon why he is and what drove him to turn against God.
The situation got so bad that government gave up and people drew a bold line between the two. Now, there are places marked where GIE lives and god-believers don’t. There are church societies where we live in, the rest is occupied by the devils and the government. The officials from GIE have to take permission from the church to enter our society and we get informed whenever they are allowed in. The devils are known to be atrociously manipulative and influential, adding to the fact their conversion rate is 90%. The best way to deal with them, is to never. Children born in this era are taught to ignore the devils and are banned to befriend someone other than their own society. These heavy measures have helped ease these conversions from theists to devils.
I inform Philip, my neighbor and a church official. He’s concerned but let’s not get too into it. Maybe there was some server issue, I assure him. I go out to work. As I’m halfway into the day, the bell rings and I smell a familiar aura, oh...it’s him. It has been months, I never expected to see him again. He comes in, “I require ten bouquets of red spider lilies, please.”, AGAIN? I ponder in my head. “Sure”, I reply professionally. “You know you’re the only one stocking out the red lilies in months”, I add.
“Glad to help the business”, he smiles.
I try to search for a ring on his hand but I’m not convincingly smart, he catches on and shoves his hands into his coat pockets. My instinct is to apologize but I don’t. I feel embarrassed.
“Where you do want them delivered?”, I recover, professional.
“I’ll pick them up from… your house?”, he says hesitantly.
“Umm…is that how you flirt?”
“I don’t see a ring on your finger either for it to be a problem.”
I smile. I had no clue he was interested. Maybe he picked up that I was.
A week after our first “date”, which went splendid well until it was cut short. He got a call and had to leave ASAP. It’s alright, I’m sure he’ll give me a call. As soon as I say that, Philip enters my shop, I give him a big smile and he laughs. He places a strawberry vanilla cake on my table which has the card, “happy birthday neighbor”, I laugh and squint at him. I give him a little kiss on the cheek and say thank you. Philip might be a neighbor but he’s the closest person to me right now. I’ve known him since I shifted here. As we’re talking about random stuff, he remembers something and speaks, “By the way, who’s that person standing in front of your shop?”.
“Is it a customer? Let me check.”, I reply.
I look out to find ‘him’ again. Oh…he isn’t looking at me but at Philip. I turn around to look at Philip, he’s walking around the shop. This is confusing. I take a few steps and his attention comes to me. He smiles and as soon as I’m about to open the door, he gets a call and turns away. I stand there for a bit, then turn around to find Philip. I look back, he’s gone.
It’s almost closing time. Moonlight reflecting on the wilted flowers while I’m throwing them away. As I’m trashing up the bags, I look up to find a moonlit face.
“Hey”
“Hi…what’s up”, I say, a bit upset.
“I wanted to get some flowers.”
“Red spider lilies again?”, I say as I clean my hands up with my shirt sleeve.
“Actually…I require roses…or…. tulips?”
I laugh. “I like chocolates better.”
“Come on then. I know a perfect place for it.”
We get to this lavish café I’ve never been in. All this for a chocolate? I wonder. After an hour of eating and walking around the park, our conversion flows as,
“So…Kaiser Owns, that’s a crazy name you have, what do you do?”
“Um...I work some serious business, my lady.”
“I’m not YOURS…not yet.”
“Ah...I guess the chocolates didn’t work for you”
I smile. “What did you exactly like about me?”, I ask him.
“You smell like flowers…but you smell like chocolates today, which I like even more.”
Months go by. Me and Kaiser become official. We meet occasionally when I’m off work. He’s very serious about his work…it seems serious. We often laugh together. It’s strange how he stopped buying red spider lilies from me, but it doesn’t weigh on my mind for a long time.
After a year of dating…one day, we’re cooking together at my place. TV on, laughing together and all of a sudden, my phone starts beeping like crazy. I go and check it and there’s like hundreds of “GIE around” alert messages still incoming. Is my phone broken? I sigh. I text Philip about it and he replies, “your server must be on now”. For more than a year, my server had been down?! I simply thought no one was allowed in. Kaiser judges my expression and comes near me to check what’s happening, he then takes a few steps back.
“So, this is why the success rate is declining.”, he says in a surprising tone.
“What do you mean?”, I say.
“Of course, if you get these alerts then it would be difficult to get through anyone.”
“Why are you talking as if you don’t know about the alerts?”
“It’s my first time seeing them”
I freeze. First time seeing them, it can’t be…
“Are you not from theist society?”
He gets cautioned by the fear in my eyes. “Tiffany…”
I feel myself getting anxious and my eyes tear up. Who have I been with until now? How did I miss something so important!
“Who are you?!”, I scream at him.
“Tiffy…calm down. Let’s talk about this ok? Please sit down.”
As much I don’t want to follow what he says, I sit down because my blood is so desperate to find what’s happening, the truth.
“Are you from GIE?”, I interrogate him.
“Uh…I…not exactly. But yes, I guess...”, he speaks, looking down in defeat.
“Kaiser, I’m not playing right now. You deceived me all this time! I deserve to know the truth from you.”
“It’s complicated…easiest way to make sense of it is that I work as a negotiator between GIE and the government. I’m a government official but I deal heavily with GIEs. Most of my work involves staying in their turfs and talking with their officials. I’ve been doing it for a while now.”
“Then why did I get GIE alerts if you work for the government?”
“Church societies have given up on the government and they’re independent. Also, I am indeed categorized as a GIE according to their rules.”
“Why do they allow you in so often?”
“That’s kind of a confidential question, Tiffy.”
I sigh in relief. But something’s still unsettling in this whole situation.
“You should’ve told me, Kaiser. This was a really big secret you kept from me.”
“I thought you’d leave me…I didn’t want that since … I love you, tiffany.”
It was our two-year anniversary when Kaiser proposed. He got a bouquet of chocolate roses made and hid the ring inside one of the flower which I almost swallowed. I could’ve choked to death on that ring but now it’s living on my finger shining and breathing with me. While we were discussing about our marriage, question arose that where would we live. I couldn’t tell my family that he was involved with the devils, neither could I explain it to Philip, so I hid that fact and although I felt guilty, they had acknowledged how Kaiser was THE one for me, they were happy for me, and I lived on that. One day, we had this conversation,
“Do you think you can move in to my place?”, asked Kaiser.
“Are you serious? Your house is at the border of the devil turfs, I can never live there. Plus, how could I explain it to everyone if they saw me leave the society?”
“That leaves us only one option, tiff, I have to make a fake pass.”
“Fake pass? What do you mean?”, I asked curiously.
“A fake pass of me where I belong in the society, the perfect “theist”, that way there would be no alerts anymore.”
“You could do that? How exactly would you get the pass?”
“It’s easy. There a lot of operations where government officials have to go undercover, so they have that department working. I could talk in my way and get it done.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize my fiancé was this cunning. But…is that alright? Won’t that cause an issue or something?”
“It’s definitely not legal but I have to marry my wife, don’t I?”, he said as he sneaked me into a hug.
We got married that spring. It has been a few months since we started living together. Kaiser was able to get the ID and we bought a new place which is a ten minutes’ drive from where I used to live before. I miss Philip, but I often visit him when I’m free at work hours. My husband insisted that I stop working but this floral shop has been my dream and all I had when times were rough, so I still come in every day. I feel like I have the best husband ever. He’s the nicest man to me, I sometimes question if I even deserve it.
He spills a lot of tea about his work but never much about the GIEs. He keeps the confidential stuff hidden, it seems he’s being protective of me, so I understand. But, this once he disclosed a vital information to me and made me promise to never speak about it.
“I don’t even understand how people can get convinced to turn against God…it doesn’t make sense that a single person can talk you into it.”, I say as I’m folding the laundry.
“It doesn’t make sense at all that way. It’s…a different world out there. Church societies aren’t aware of the depth of it. They’re called devils for a reason. Government is busting their ass since years to find a solution…but it’s beyond their capacity. Don’t tell anyone Tiffy, but Gominh Ewan’s wife is an infamous shaman. It’s a bit darker and magical than what society believes.”, says Kaiser in a dark, secretive tone.
I laugh. “So what you’re saying is that there’s magical stuff going on in there? Like what? Sacrificing souls? Are shamans even real?”
“Exactly. I didn’t use to believe it until I went there and each day I had to visit someone I knew to give out condolences. I found it strange the way people were disappearing and their closed ones were weirdly contempt and looked happier. They sacrifice a loved SOUL for their desire. It works wonders for them.”
“Is that why you’d buy so many red spider lilies from me?”
“I only came to you when everywhere else was stocked out.”
“That’s really mean.”
Kaiser’s expression grows dark, “I shouldn’t have told you that...Tiffy you have to promise me to bury this and never speak about it again.”
I promised him, I had to since he looked so damn serious. But I didn’t believe one thing he said. You cannot convince me that in this era, we got shamans and soul sacrifices. I find it weird why Kaiser believes it. I laugh as I take the folded laundry to the room. I wonder what Philip would say if he just heard the absurd Kaiser said.
Life goes on pretty well, and so fast that we find ourselves celebrating our two-year anniversary. Four years of him in my life already but it feels as if I met him yesterday, time really does pass by when you’re with someone you love. I recall about all the “firsts” and smile. Philip often complaints how I never stop talking about them. As for my husband, I keep testing him if he remembers too, and he passes each time, easily. We’ve been discussing kids a lot while these days, and maybe we should wait a bit more. Also given the fact that Kaiser has to stay a few months away from the society, we will discuss it in more depth when he returns.
“Are you sure you’re going to be safe?”, I ask Kaiser as we’re walking back to our home one evening.
“I just have to help an undercover get into their main turf and settle in, since I know some of their people and can help with connections. I’m not the one in spotlight, don’t worry.”
“I don’t know…I don’t feel alright sending you away.”
“I promise, I’ll be back as soon as I can, my lovely wife.”
It still bothered me but I had no choice. It was his work and I wasn’t going to be someone who didn’t support him. Half-heartedly, I told him goodbye. It was tough. Walking back alone, staying alone, cooking and sleeping alone. Just…everything. We kept texting for a few weeks until all of a sudden my texts were on delivered, no whatsoever reply. I grew more anxious each day.
My visits to Philip grew swiftly. I told him he was out for a business trip. Thanks to Philip I was able to hold on to the crazy days at first. He often took me to events and cafés to fill the void he noticed. He suggested I be with my parents if I was too lonely, but knowing that Kaiser could return anytime, I couldn’t.
Days, weeks, months went by. It was taking him an unusual long time. Did something bad happen to him? God forbid not. I begged.
More months pass by and today is Kaiser’s birthday. I refuse to give in to the thought that he left me, he wouldn’t. Never. I find myself acting strange. I stay on my bed for a while, texting him…still undelivered. I take my scarf and run to the society gate. The guards stop me.
“You aren’t allowed to go out.”, says one of the guard.
“I must go out. Please. Just once.”
“Where are you going?”
I pause unable to find the words. “I need to find my husband. Please.”
The guards sigh as if they’ve witnessed the same thing for a million times already and they eventually call in more guards. After minutes of shouting and explaining, I’m mad at the lack of empathy they have. I’ve been crying my eyes out and they don’t seem to have one care. I try to force my way out but they hold me and push me back, making my ankle sprain. I stay there till it grows into a full blasted ruckus and people start gathering. I cover my face with the scarf as the guards fight my arms away from the gate.
I peep in from the space between the gate and my vision gets stunned. I freeze and take a few steps back. I hold my scarf and tighten it around my face, covering it completely. I try to speak but I seem lost.
“R…r..r…u…RUN!!!!”, I scream out.
What seems like a whole army of men keeps coming in the direction of our society. It’s not until they’re close enough and uncountable in number, we all recognize that they’re the DEVILS. A lot of screaming echoes in my ear but I don’t move. I’m frozen at the person I spot in the front of the devils. It’s….my husband, Kaiser.
I keep staring at him unable to withdraw my eyes. What feels like an arrow of pain and betrayal pins my heart. He doesn’t look at me, does he not recognize me with the scarf on? That’s improbable. I watch them as they come closer at full tilt. In between the chaos, people slow down and there’s a retaliated thought as to how will they break in. The guards are now covering the entire gate and the locals are pushed back. I try to find a spot where I can watch Kaiser, maybe he is searching for me in the crowd. What seems like a stampede is pushed through.
And then we hear it. The sound of a pass being verified and light turns green. Oh my god. They’re in. THEY’RE IN! I hear people shouting, “They had ID!” as they run towards their home. A full on fight breaks at the entrance and we all know that it’s only a matter of time where they reach us. We all run. I get impelled in the direction of the tide and look back to find no sight of him. My instinctive is to run to Philip.
I stop to dial Philip’s phone and just as I bring phone to my ear, my breath ceases in my throat as I realize something. They must’ve used Kaiser’s fake pass to enter. My mind goes foggy as I try to clear the vision along with my aching head. Did he plan this? So articulately that my whole existence to him was a strategic plan? Kaiser wouldn’t…would he? I feel guilty as I doubt him but I can’t shake off this brutal agony that I’ve picked up from what I witnessed a few minutes ago. I feel guilty. Am I responsible for this invasion? Did I let it all happen? I sob as I know how people will conceive me: the ultimate betrayal to them, to the god we all believe in and love.
The chaos around me clears as I keep sobbing. Dark clouds gather above me, paralleling my vehemence. I question everything in those tears, my blood almost white. I can’t face Philip, neither I can any human soul. I get up, thunderstorms lightning the sky, evil all around me. I start heading straight…I hear what goes around me but I don’t halt.
“We can only let you live if you sacrifice your husband?”
“If you offer both of your souls, your children shall live.”
“Make sure to burn the empty houses.”
“You get one more chance to make a choice, it’s now or never.”
“Do you want to survive or excel?”
“I’ll make sure your mother is free of her disease…if you offer your soul.”
“You lived your whole life yearning for some gold, I can make sure you never run out of it.”
“Sir, have you ever dreamt of an 80% monopoly in this economy. I can assure you of the benefit.”
“Ha…sure we can take care of him. Rest assured.”
“I can bring your dead son back to life.”
As I find myself deeper in the society, the smoke grows tremendously, making me cough and tighten my scarf even more. I can see fire all over the front and pace up my speed to not get caught in the blow up. I fear… everything, but I’m determined to not stop. I keep walking. I keep mumbling, “Philip” …” Kaiser” …” Philip, I’m sorry” ….” Kaiser” as I trot forward.
It takes each ounce of strength to finally breathe and step in. I’m where I belong and where I shall die. The church. I just had to walk straight to be where I shall rightly be. I refuse to give in to the devils, I’ll die in God’s arms. I get down on my knees, my ankle bleeding and bow my head, waiting for my demise.
After what seems like a few hours, noises start filling around the church. I open my eyes and stand up as the door is bashed open. I gasp and cover my mouth, “Kaiser!” I scream, inaudible. I let my scarf fall on my neck, my hair subtle windy in the heat. He looks at me, I can see tears in his eyes and something in my heart softens up, like finally feeling rain after an intense draught. I beg the world to not make him the villain.
As I take a few steps towards him, suddenly the scenery gets darker. One by one, the devils come in, standing behind Kaiser, filling the entire church. I move back to the center of nave again. I can feel the thunderstorms echoing the holy walls. It can rain anytime. We aren’t prepared. I look around, there’s no one but me, Kaiser and the army of devils. They made it till the church.
There’s a sudden sense of defeat and devotion which replaces every little thought in me. I fight to be myself. Be me. The devils come closer to me, I would fall lifeless before the raindrops touch this ground, my soul lost forever. I decide to take one last look at my love, I raise my head and that’s when I hear him,
“Sacrifice me”
My eyes fall on his eyes. They’re screaming since he saw me and I failed to decipher it until now,
“Sacrifice me! You can end this right now!”
A gust of air breathes into my lungs. The relief of him being the person I knew and loved, gives me strength. But my love, I could never do that. I’d rather die instead of ever losing you.
“You can end this right now, Tiffany. Sacrifice me…”
No. No. NO. NEVER! I can’t lose you, Kaiser. I…can’t. I turn around so I stop leaning into what his eyes speak to me. I decide to take the fall, for him, and for all the people. I’m responsible.
As I walk towards the aisle, I see him. He’s looking at me, I struggle to do the same.
“Philip…I’m sorry.”, I cry.
Philip pauses and then simply puts on the beautiful smile he has. “Tiffany, come here.”
I don’t think twice. I needed this. I run towards Philip and hug him. I keep apologizing and he doesn’t stop me. The devils start to fill up even more.
“Now listen. The tiffany I know wouldn’t fall down like this, would she? Don’t you have flowers to take care of? A cake to bake? Newspapers to read? And most importantly, harbor and keep your love pure and safe? Child, you have so much to life to bruise your knees the way you did. Look at how beautiful the rain smells. The rain which is going to make it everything alright. So, you have to trust me. The only one who shall be giving up his life for this church, our god, is me. I was born here and I am so lucky to have the privilege to choose how I shall go. It’s an honor to die for my God and its people.”
I shiver at the intensity of Philip’s words. I can’t defuse him. I don’t utter a word but I shake as he tightens his arms and closes his eyes.
The devils are almost caught up with us. The church filled up with the devils is an insult to us. I find the lost energy in Philip. Kaiser is desperately looking at me, trying to protect me through his tied hands and heart.
“Tiffany, sacrifice me to abrogate the devils. May their souls find a peaceful place.”
I hate to be the person to decide, but I don’t contain the choice. I can’t defy Philip. I trust him. I have, more than me. I hold accountability for all the people gone today and Philip’s death shall be my ultimate sin. I shall atone at any cost. Even at cost of my life.
“I, Tiffany, sacrifice my dearest friend and soul, Philip O’Leary, in barter for the soul of the ‘messiah’ Gominh Ewan.”
...
I wake up to a whistle in my ear, humming a beautiful note. It’s so cold. Almost freezing. And dark. Like the sky has been inked black. But I see them … those lilies…bloodier than usual. I can’t stand up. I sit with my hands on the floating ink. My hands … matching the lilies I sold sometimes. I can’t recall when. But it’s important, it will come to me, I’m sure.
“Welcome, Tiffany.”, I turn around to find a sole chair sitting very far away from where I lay, but her voice is extremely crystal. It’s so soft. I can’t see her. The chair faces the opposite direction but I know she’s looking at me, transparently. I don’t question her. I strangely just want to listen to her voice, it’s so… addictive and flawless.
“There were a lot of deaths today. Ah, I mean sacrifices. I lost everything, Tiffany. Don’t worry, I don’t blame you. I had to lose my everything to gain so much substantial more, it’s how the world works. I’m delighted you figured that out at such a young fine age. Flowers, petals, continue to fall and shall always, but they don’t, when you pick them up before they wilt off. Sacrifices are essential to not wilt, knowing the world is falling off so briskly. I may have lost my petals, but I gained a new seed which shall grow to never wilt. You, tiffany, are that seed.”
“The devils are dead. Gominh Ewan, my husband is dead. I only have you. You, tiffany, is the only devil left in this entire world.”
And no, this is not the world of the dead, it’s vigorous in the soil which is sown and bound to haunt you, atrociously stronger and forever.
Tiffany will reap. Very soon.
React
