With a corporate job as a Marketing executive in one of the best companies of India, Ish thought he had found what he had envisioned for himself- a well-paid stable job with a bright career. He thought he had put a brake to acquiring academic degrees, endless job searches and interviews. “I am looking nowhere else and will one day retire from this company”, he said to himself with a sense of satisfaction.
Meanwhile, his parents had already started looking around for a suitable match for him. Ish was neither in a hurry nor interested in an arranged marriage. He was basically an introvert, shy guy. His family knew he would never be able to find a girl for himself. Ish, on the other hand, had grown-up always imaging that he would find true love some day and spend the rest of his life with the girl of his choice.
His parents won. Destiny won. Ish did not have the courage to go against the wishes of his parents. He got married under persistent family pressure to a girl he had never met. Her name was Ishita. She was well-educated (from a foreign University), belonged to a respectable family and reasonably good-looking. He had no reason to reject her. More than Ish and Ishita, it was a marriage between two families, who had known each other for a long time.
Initially, everything worked out perfectly well. Both Ish and Ishita seemed happy. Like his job, Ish envisioned a happy and trouble-free future with his wife even though he had sacrificed his childhood dream of a love marriage. He consoled himself accepting the situation and convincing himself by the thought that after all Ishita was in no way bad and love can happen after marriage as well. Like his job, he felt it was “happily ever after” for him with Ishita. He found himself saddled in a happy space on both fronts.
But within a year, cracks started emerging in their relationship. Ishita was fiercely independent and had a mind of her own. She was an extrovert and an outspoken personality. She considered Ish too simple (maybe stupid) for her and would often disrespect him and his mannerisms. Ish always wanted to be himself in her presence. He hated pretense of any kind. During their brief dating phase, they had only seen the best side of each other. It was only after getting married, they both realized that they were two very different individuals. Both found and focused on their respective weaknesses, hitherto unknown to them. Their fights became more frequent. When they spoke, the neighbors listened. Parents intervened unsuccessfully. The couple decided to go their separate ways and started living separately. Finally, they got divorced.
Ish was shattered. Ishita moved on and got re-married.
Ish got into depression and badly needed an escape, escape from Ishita, people around him, the city, even the home country itself. He quit the very job that was his future and moved to Singapore. It was a new job in a new country. A new beginning.
Ish believed that true love knows no boundaries and decided to pursue his quest. He was sure someday he will find the girl who truly loves him, loves him unconditionally.
He met Jenny through a local colleague. She was single too and frantically looking for a guy to settle down. Age was catching upon her. She had dated several men but nothing materialized. They started meeting more often and soon became good friends. It turned out to be more than friendship but less than love. Ish felt happy in her presence and perhaps she turned out to be the balm that he badly needed to recover from a failed marriage. Unfortunately for Ish, Jenny found a rich businessman and got married. She requested Ish not to contact her anymore. Ish was disappointed to lose her but happy for Jenny.
After a few months, Ish met another girl through online dating. He name was Nancy. She was full of energy and a happy-go-lucky person. Ish, for the first time felt that he was in love with her. He invested a lot of time and energy to nurture the relationship. But Nancy was not looking for a commitment. She just wanted to hang out with Ish. It turned out to be a one-sided love. She found someone else and parted ways with Ish saying "I will miss you". Ish was again heart-broken. He had never known what love meant. He had never fallen in love. He had only lived with the idea of falling in love.
Ish realized that he was an overly sensitive and emotional person who trusted people easily. He was angry with himself. From the feelings of pain, he moved to bitterness. He decided to be a different person, a strong man, indifferent, practical. He wanted to stay away from any complicated stuff involving matters of heart. What he needed was new friends, not a healing therapy.
He turned to social media to find friends. In the process, he met many girls. During this period of random encounters, he saw a new side of the world- murky, selfish, deceptive and hollow. Most girls whom he met were not serious about a long-term relationship. They were either experimenting or trying to use him after their own failed relationships. Some of them were just after his money.
Ish was disappointed being an eternal gentleman. Something new got into his confused head. He wanted to explore his dark side. From finding true love, he strayed away to easy-to-find fun. He started drinking, going to bars and clubs to pick up girls for one-night-stands. In this self-discovery, Ish found that he had some charm for which girls fell easily. His confidence soared high.
He could not believe whatever he was doing and why. The simple guy had changed for worse and become a playboy. But the phase ended soon. He was done with chasing girls and finding transitory fun. He had experienced the dark side of the world and his own dark personality.
He put a pause button to his romantic encounters and reflected on his wayward journey that started with the quest for true love again.
As destiny would have it, he bumped into another girl called Jessica, a shy, quiet, sweet local girl. before Ish could realize anything, he was into yet another romantic journey. but then something happened. After dating her for about a year, Ish accidentally discovered that she was actually in love with another guy, who lived in another city. Jessica had been cheating him all this while. It was decision time. For once, Ish mustered up courage to ask her to choose between her (another city) boyfriend and him. To his utter surprise, she broke up with her boyfriend and chose Ish. They got together to restart a new journey. But trust once broken is disastrous. There were frequent problems in their relationship. Jessica was a confused person. She looked simple but was quite the opposite. Appearances can always be deceptive. Expectations mismatched with gradual lack of communication. They had taken each other for granted. They fought one more time, the last time. it was over.
A hurt Tracy found another foreigner within months. Ish went back into his shell, angry, disappointed, hurt.
Someday, perhaps they both will regret their repeated immature stupidities that cost them "a happily ever after" life. That is what happens when two people in love give up before the finishing line.
There were several twists and turns in Ish's quest for love. But there was one more turning point left!
Another LOVE or something else?
Being just with himself, a realization dawned on him.
He needed INNER PEACE, not love.
If he was calm and peaceful, love might eventually come. But for now, love could wait. Instead of meaningless romantic encounters, he took a spiritual sabbatical. He had to heal himself, atone for his sins and purify his body and soul. He had to release himself from his bad karma.
in the past when girls called him a perfect gentleman, he used to jokingly tell them, "I am a gentleman, not a monk."
But ironically now he actually went to a Buddhist monastery to become a monk and was called a "Bhikkhu". His life took a turn 360 degrees filled with self-isolation techniques, early morning prayers and marathon sessions of meditation aimed at understanding the hidden truth that desires cause suffering. The mind is the real culprit that needs to be controlled in a positive way. He changed to simple life, yellow robes, a new name and shaven head.
In the monastery, Ish met an American monk, Todd, who had lived there for 18 years. Todd was the only son of a billionaire business tycoon. He had renounced everything to find inner peace. He felt that Ish was a brilliant young man wasting himself in the monastery. After several conversations, he convinced Ish to return to normal life, as a changed person. Todd found a job for Ish in the USA. After a year, Ish left the monastery on yet another journey, but this time with more clarity and a purpose of life. His heart had been broken and shattered many times, but now his "vision" was fixed.
From being madly obsessed with finding true love for himself, Ish decided to dedicate all his spare time and energy to those who were deprived of love in the evening of their lives. These old, sick and helpless seniors had been discarded by their children and sent to old-age homes to fight their lonely battles.
Life found a new meaning for Ish. It was not finding love for himself, but to give love to others.
His heart was lighter, his mind much calmer after removing all the unpleasant emotional clutter of his past. he overcame all bitterness and found his redemption.
"Life is like an elevator". Ish often used to say. Sometimes on your way up and down, we have to stop and let some people on and some people off. So even when we lose someone, we may still reach the right destination.
Ish was a free man now and fallen in love again...but this time, with his own freedom.
He has finally discovered his "true love".
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