All our lives, we have been haunted by inner conflicts. Every millisecond, the cells in our bodies transform, yet the battles within us remain unchanged. The moment I began to trust myself, it was soon labeled as a war between two of the most formidable rivals—the two forces that govern me: the heart and the brain.
Meet Luna (Heart) and Theo (Brain). Whatever Luna longs for, Theo stands against. Once upon a time, they were inseparable. Two decades ago, if Luna craved chocolate, Theo wouldn’t hesitate to make it happen, always eager to fulfill the wishes of its cherished companion. But that was long ago. They drifted apart once Theo began to evaluate things logically, prioritizing reason over impulse, while Luna continued chasing fleeting desires, acting recklessly only to drown in regret later.
The sky is dark with heavy clouds, even though it's only evening. The light is dim and gloomy, and it feels like it could rain at any moment. I sit at the edge of the pool, moving my legs back and forth. The sound of the water, combined with the dim lighting above me, soothes my nerves. The water in the pool is so cold that my legs start to go numb.
A loud clap of thunder and a flash of lightning split the sky. Within a minute, the rain starts pouring. My plans for a swim are definitely ruined. I close my eyes, feeling the raindrops land on my face.
"I want to swim," a soft, whining voice whispers behind me.
"Yeah, I want to as well," I mouth.
Another bolt of lightning fills the sky. The water lashing down from above seems angry, almost vengeful.
I jump into the pool and don’t move. I let myself sink to the bottom, the water enveloping me completely. I can barely hear the muffled sound of thunder rolling above.
"If lightning strikes the pool, the electric shock could be fatal," a loud, booming voice warns.
"Such a nice way to die. You wouldn't even know it was coming," the soft voice from earlier muses.
"Get your shit together and get out of this deathbed."
For a moment, I imagine lying on a bed of flowing water, weightless and wet, with no insulation. What would happen if I waited for the next strike to hit while I was still in this pool? The thought is horrifying. The more I panic about the image of being electrocuted underwater, the more suffocated I feel. I swim up to the surface, gasping for air.
"For once, I just wanted to be alone, and here you both are, trying to kill me in my own thoughts," I say, my voice strong, though my teeth chatter as the wind hits my wet body.
I hurry inside the house. As I step in, the lights go out with a loud strike of lightning nearby.
"Your sweet little heart is startled by this," he mocks.
"That’s not me. It's you who reacted. Did you forget your function?" she snaps back.
Here they go again.
Is it my fault that I can't control them, or are they just like this?
Conflict arises when the heart longs for what it cannot have, and the brain begins to doubt its own worth. In the struggle, both lose sight of reason and reality. Since Theo is often lost in its coldness and rationality, it forgets that in some situations, it needs the heart too. It's not the only pacemaker. I don’t fully blame the brain, though—Luna acts so impulsively that I often end up feeling reckless and guilty, both before and after.
The very next day, my date is waiting outside my house with a bouquet of my favorite flowers.
"Since when did lilies become your favorite?" Theo exclaims.
"Since the moment he bought them. Wow! Such. A. Lovely. Color... I guess," Luna replies with a hint of sarcasm.
I smile gently as his gaze lingers on me. Stepping forward, he hands me the flowers, their soft, fresh scent—lightly citrusy and reminiscent of spring—filling the air around me. I mouth a silent thank you and step into the passenger seat as he opens the door for me.
"Such a romantic," Luna sighs making my heart beats fast.
"Bullshit," Theo mutters, agitated as the warmth rises to my cheeks.
He’s the first guy I’m dating after getting my heart broken five years ago. Thankfully, I’ve moved on. My heart doesn’t hold any feelings for him anymore. I once tried to hate him, but she stopped me.
"Hate is a bigger game than love," she had said. "Love might melt away, but hate stays forever—fed by revenge, curses, and pain, again and again, until you destroy yourself. Let him go."
Her words were powerful. Let go. Those were the only two words I truly understood. For the first time, Theo agreed with her. And as the years passed, I let go of everything I could.
Now, all I feel is numb—numb to their conflicts, numb to their rivalry.
"Hey, Gunjan! Are you all right? You’ve been quiet since we arrived at the theater," Akash's concerned voice breaks through my thoughts.
"I'm fine. Nothing's wrong," I say, giving him a reassuring nod. "Can we have fries instead of popcorn?" I add, emphasizing the P.
"Of course, baby," he says, gently tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"Gunjan, be alert. You’re going into a closed, dark space with him." The thought creeps into my mind, but I quickly brush it away, trying to stay in the present instead of worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet.
"Should we get a milkshake? Or do you want the diet Coke?" Akash asks playfully, knowing just how much of a foodie I am.
"He noticed that you like dipping fries in milkshakes! I'm telling you, he's the right one!" she exclaims excitedly, making my heart race.
I smile so hard that my cheeks start to hurt. "Yes, I would love that." I replied.
He presses a soft kiss to my forehead before leaving to order. "Wait here. I’ll be right back."
"It’s all a setup. He’s acting sweet now, only to break you again." My smile fades as the thought floods my mind.
"What is wrong with you? Why do you always have to ruin things for her?" she snaps, her voice laced with frustration. "For once, she just wanted to feel loved after all these years." Her words cut deep, meant to wound him just as much as his did.
A lump forms in my throat, the ache spreading as sadness settles in again. I fight the urge to cry.
Why am I like this?
I can never hold on to happiness for long, yet even my tears refuse to fall. I know Theo only wants to shield me, to keep me from making mistakes, from feeling pain, from getting hurt all over again. He builds walls around me, convincing himself it’s for my own good. But sometimes, his protection feels less like a shield and more like a cage.
All of their arguments were too loud, their voices clashing so fiercely that I couldn’t even make sense of what they were trying to say. It was a constant battle—words thrown like daggers, each side believing they were right, both convinced they were protecting me. But amidst their relentless war, all I could feel was exhaustion.
For some reason, I found myself wishing they would stop—stop tearing me apart, stop making me feel vulnerable all over again. They think they’re shielding me from each other, guarding me from the harm the other might inflict. But the truth is, it’s not them I need protection from—I need protection from them. From their voices that never quiet, from their relentless tug-of-war over my choices, from the way they make me feel like I’m caught in a battle I never asked to fight.
A gentle shake on my shoulder pulls me back to reality. Akash stands before me, worry etched across his face.
"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" he asks softly.
No, I'm not okay. I feel suffocated, like the walls are closing in on me. But I don’t want to worry you. I don’t want to ruin our time together.
So, I force a small smile and nod. "Yeah, I'm fine."
We sat close together, watching the movie, our shoulders brushing with every small movement. He held my hand tightly, gripping it even harder whenever a terrifying scene from Terrifier 3 played out on the screen. I almost laughed in awe at the sight—seeing him, of all people, scared.
After spending a few hours together, I felt relieved. For once, there was no presence of Theo and Luna. No endless debates, no conflicts—just me and him, existing in this moment.
And then it hit me.
I was falling in love with him.
The idea of falling in love sounds exhilarating, thrilling even—but the more intoxicating it feels, the more terrifying the aftermath becomes.
"You can't fall in love, Gunjan. We didn't go through all this effort just for you to throw it away," Theo warns, his voice firm and unyielding.
"Again and again and again," Luna sighs, exasperated. "All you do is worry about something that hasn't even happened."
'
"Theo, I know you're protecting me, but at what cost? I'm drowning in anxiety," I whisper, my voice barely holding steady.
"I’m doing this for you," Theo insists, his voice unwavering. "You’ve seen what happens when you let your guard down. Do you really want to go through that pain again?"
I clench my fists, a storm raging inside me. "I know what pain feels like, Theo. But don’t you see? Your fear is suffocating her more than heartbreak ever could," Luna says, her voice sharp with frustration.
Luna could fight back, urging me to follow her emotions rather than living in fear. She might remind methat love isn’t just about pain—it’s also about happiness.
"She deserves to be happy, Theo!" Luna snaps, her voice trembling with emotion. "Not everything ends in disaster. Not everyone is out to break her."
I exhales shakily, torn between myheart and mymind. What if Theo is right? What if Luna is right?
Their voices clash, sharp and relentless, but they start to blur, fading into a dull hum. It feels like I’m underwater, sinking deeper while their words ripple above me, distorted and distant. I try to focus, but it’s all just noise now—meaningless, exhausting noise.
“You’re rushing into this, Luna. Again. Can’t you see how reckless you are? We need to think this through.”
“Think what through, Theo? How long are you going to stall? You always do this! Overanalyze, overthink, and in the end—you do nothing.”
“Because doing nothing is better than making a mistake.”
“No, Theo. Doing nothing is the mistake.”
Silence.
I swallow hard, my chest tightening.
“You keep waiting for the right moment, the perfect timing. But guess what? Life doesn’t wait, Theo. People don’t wait. Love doesn’t wait.”
My heart slams against my ribs so fast, so violently, I forget how to breathe.
“And what if we regret it?”
“And what if we regret never trying?”
The room spins. My hands tremble. My breath catches in my throat.
Because for the first time, I don’t know whose side I’m on.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT. UP!"
I screamed at the top of my lungs, my voice cracking under the weight of my frustration. My breath came in ragged gasps, chest rising and falling rapidly as I struggled to steady myself.
And then, a sudden thought crossed my mind— 'Do not dwell on the past. Do not dream of the future. Focus only on the present moment.'
"Theo, if I have to go through heartbreak again, so be it. Because I know I have you. You are my warrior, my shield—and I can rely on you," I said, my voice steady despite the storm raging inside me.
"For decades, you and Luna have been at war, fighting over every little thing. But isn’t it time to stop?" I took a deep breath, my heart pounding. "Let Luna feel. And you, Theo—break free from the cage you've built around yourself."
I exhale, my chest aching. "So leave this argument unfinished. Accept it. Accept falling in love again. Accept trusting people again."
I rub my face with my palms, exhaling shakily. "Because I’m tired—tired of living in fear of what could happen."
"You are right. I should have known where your true happiness lies. I'm sorry for caging you in my own beliefs and for hating Luna for being emotional. I'm ready to work this out together," Theo said.
"I'm sorry too, Theo. I saw your protectiveness as an enemy. All you wanted was to keep me from feeling guilty and regretful, but all I did was challenge you," Luna said, making my heart beat with ease. "I'm ready to work this out as well. We're with you, Gunjan."
As we walked under the dim glow of streetlights, Akash’s fingers intertwined with mine, his grip warm and steady. It was a quiet night, the kind that made the world feel smaller—like it was just the two of us. My heart felt lighter than it had in years, but the weight of my fears still lingered in the background, waiting for the right moment to pull me under.
"You're quiet again," he said softly, glancing at me. "What’s on your mind?"
I hesitated, feeling the usual instinct to say, Nothing, I’m fine. But for the first time, I didn’t want to hide. I wanted him to understand me—the real me, the one who carried scars even after the wounds had healed.
I took a shaky breath. "I’m scared," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "Of getting too close. Of losing myself in someone again. Of trusting too much, only to watch it all fall apart."
Akash stopped walking, gently pulling me to face him. His eyes searched mine, not with pity, but with quiet understanding. "I know you’ve been hurt," he said. "And I won’t pretend to know what that feels like for you. But I want you to know… I’m not here to break you, Gunjan."
His words settled into me, soothing the chaos within. Theo and Luna were silent. For once, they weren’t arguing, weren’t screaming warnings or fueling reckless hope. It was just me, standing here, listening to someone who wanted to love me despite all the walls I had built.
I nodded, my throat tight. "I don’t want to run anymore."
"Then don’t," he whispered, brushing a strand of hair from my face. "We’ll take this at your pace. No expectations, no pressure—just us, figuring it out together."
For the first time in forever, the thought of love didn’t terrify me. It felt… safe.
But safety is a fragile thing.
Because just when I started to believe in this, to let my guard down, it happened. A small, insignificant moment—yet it shattered something inside me.
Akash’s phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and frowned at the screen. "It’s my cousin," he said casually before answering.
I didn’t mean to listen. But I heard it anyway. A soft laugh from the other end, a voice too familiar, too sweet—one that twisted something deep inside me.
Another girl.
My breath hitched. My heartbeat pounded in my ears. The past blurred into the present, voices overlapping in my head.
This is how it starts. This is how they break you.
I pulled my hand away before I could stop myself. Akash noticed immediately. "Gunjan?"
"I need to go," I said, my voice sharper than I intended. I turned away, but he caught my wrist, gentle yet firm.
"Wait—what just happened?" He looked at me, genuinely confused. "Talk to me."
I opened my mouth, ready to tell him it was nothing, that I was just overthinking. But my chest was tight, and my hands trembled.
And then, I felt it.
The silence.
Theo and Luna weren’t reacting. No sharp warnings. No emotional outbursts. Just quiet.
I expected Theo to tell me You were right, he’s just like before. But he didn’t. Instead, his voice came steady, measured. Calm down. You don’t know yet. Don’t overthink.
I expected Luna to jump in, fueled by emotion. But she remained still, listening. For once, let’s see before we assume.
And Akash… he wasn’t letting me run. He wasn’t ignoring the shift in my mood or pretending nothing had happened. He wanted to understand.
A few minutes later, everything was clear. Akash playfully said, trying to lighten my mood, "Let’s get you some ice cream."
Luna and Theo both chimed in at the same time, "See? You were overthinking."
And for once, my heart and mind weren’t at war. They were finally aligned.
— ✧ —
React
