I sat at the Double Hope cafe alone with a cup of hot coffee. Deep in thought. Memories flashed. Slowly, I took a deep breath and looked at my badge at the table. It was my new job, new environment, new colleagues, new life, or, I would consider it as a new beginning. It took me to this new city to begin my first day job.
At the new office, team introduction, job briefing, company policies and workplace tour have been done with my superiors. Flawless, perfect and awesome.
Hello to my new city.
Out of the sudden, my exhausted eyes caught someone in the corner. A familiar face. Long lost memories alive.
She stood still and tried to hold her next action. Dilemma.
I waved at her. She smiled and walked towards my direction.
“How are you?” She asked.
I stood up and replied “I am fine.”
There was silence lingered between us and even a sound of heartbeat could be heard.
Finally.
“Janice. How did you find me? You work around here?”
She smiled and said “Same company with you. I am from HR department.”
I took aback by her answer and realised that something that I tried to avoid but it would find its way back to me without clue.
“It is really a small world,”
“Yeah?”
“How is your sister?”
Was it necessary?
“Yes. She is good. Just back from vacation, Melbourne and London. This was her dream, heard that her next destination is Paris…..” she paused and realised that she could not be allowed to continue the next revelation. Immediately, she changed the topic and we started to chat for few minutes.
Vacation was great!
Vacation was a dream.
Minutes passed, we exchanged farewells and she turned to walk away.
I stood still as always.
Unexpectedly, she stopped mid-stride and turned to me with a wide smile and said “You are still my brother-in-law, always. Trust me. I wish your dream of novelist comes true. By the way, call me if you want to take me out for lunch.”
I started to listen a sound from my old world that has already been shattered into thousand pieces begun to find its own panacea for uniting all its broken pieces.
I broke into smile and waved to her. She waved back to me and disappeared into the crowd.
I sunk down in my chair and stared at my wedding ring in my middle finger.
The song of Glenn Medeiros’s Nothing’s Gonna Change my Love for you was playing in the background.
The old scenes slowly presented in my eyes..
“Sorry. Henry. I have something to tell you.”
“Yes.” I said as my eyes were glued to the laptop screen for my writing.
“Henry! Can you give me a second.”
Silence.
“Henry!”
I kept quiet.
The heat temperatures surged among us.
“Henry!”
Defeated.
My fingers stopped at the keyboard in an instant as if it had lost its directions. Also, my heart was beating fast as if it would come out anytime.
Surrender.
I turned to look at her and could see something in her tired and angry eyes. That eyes were reflected our past and present and now but no future.
She leaned back and started to choose her sentence carefully from her deepest mind as if it has already been buried many years ago.
“Henry,” she paused, and continued “I don’t think that………we could be together again.”
My eyes begun to struggle with my mind to hold my tears to be flowed out.
“We have been together for many years. But, it seemed that everyday I have to worry about our future. It is hard to make ends meet with your low salary and high standard of living. Many years past you are still the same. You have never changed.”
I sat quietly as if I frozen to death.
“Even the basis of living you have no idea how to handle also. Only waiting for something to happen.”
Silence hung between us again.
I said nothing.
She strode and sat at the stool next to countertop. She cupped her face with both hands.
Minutes passed.
“What have you done? You done nothing. Just like this. Silence yourself.” She exclaimed with all her strength.
I just shifted in my seat as if it was a minor protest.
She ignored it.
“I have no chance to enjoy what is the best life even the simple vacation we can’t effort at all.”
I felt that my hands soaked with sweat and it broke out along my hairline also.
This sentence touched on my inner heart.
She closed her eyes and said nothing. However, I could see her tears already rolled down her cheek.
My heart hurt and hurt deeply to see her crying.
I realised that my last chapter to be erupted anytime. It would be the unwanted ending.
Finally, she stood up and walked past me with no words anymore.
The silence was interrupted by this moment.
“Sook Kuan. Give me some time. I will become the most famous novelist soon. Life will be changed.” I said convincingly.
“When? Tell me!” She scolded and never turned her face to look at me.
I found no words. Totally defeated.
Only her footsteps ascended the stairs.
Obviously, the silence took over the next moment.
Minutes passed, she descended the stairs into the gloomy living room with her luggage. Silence as usual. Quietly she hung the house key on the plastic clamp and opened the door. Nothing to say. She just left that the last I saw her back.
The keyboard in front of me spotted with many small drop of tears. The entire sphere of my home turned into abnormal quietness and infinite space. My little world filled up with my crying voice.
“Sir.”
I looked up from my memories and said “Sorry.”
The waitress smiled and her eyes gestured in the direction of my smart phone on the table.
It was still ringing.
I thanked her and took a look at the phone screen which made out a familiar name.
INDRAN
My old friend, old colleague and we have ten years of unbreakable friendship.
I picked up the call and said “Yes. Indran.”
“Hi! Henry. How your days in Kuala Lumpur?”
“Hi. bro. I think I am still alive.”
I could heard Indran laughed happily on the other side. That friendly laughing would not be forgotten in my life.
“Bro. You are funny. Always. How was your new job?”
I leant forward, picked up my already-cold coffee and sipped.
“It seems that everything is running smooth.” I said.
“Wow! Good. It is great to hear that.”
Immediately I opened my eyes widely and lots of questions popped up in my exhausted mind.
“Indran. Something happened to her?”
I could felt that he was sobering himself up.
Something.
I waited.
Time waited too.
“Henry, listen up. I didn’t know how much you loved her. Why you get yourself distanced from her? Then, you just chose to resign and left us all behind. Maybe you know something. Good or bad. But, what I know is that this is real and it is still waiting for you to make it big wave. At last, you gave up and made a choice to escape everything.”
I only listened and kept quiet for a moment.
I waited again.
Time waited again too.
Indran also waited and finally he continued “You can run, hide and vanish. But, something inside your heart is what you are. Just take it out and make it complete. Actually what I want to tell you is Ann has resigned few days already and no one knows where is she now. She didn’t listen and answer any calls from us. Maybe she chose the same way as you did.”
Out of the sudden, a wave of uneasiness washed over me and I leant back on the chair for a moment as if my entire world was awash with countless uncertainties. Where is she now?
“Did she call you?” Indran asked.
I shook my head and said “No.”
“It is okay. We will keep looking for her. Let us know if you got her. Please.”
The line hung up and I got nothing to say and comprehend. Eventually I felt that my old world was reversed with my broken pieces again and it would went into the deepest abyss this time.
I looked up and saw the old lady sat across the table. Alone.
My unpleasant memories slowly crept up….
The door swung open and the old lady came closer.
I looked up from my paperwork and stared at her unexpectedly.
“Mom, why are you here in this hour?” I asked.
Something not right.
“I heard that you have a new girlfriend.”
I kept quiet as I did all the time.
“What her name?” My mom pressed further.
I hesitated for a moment.
She shook her head.
“Tell me.”
“Annaletchumy. You can call her Ann. She is a good lady.” I responded.
“You have already decided? Think again. Maybe it is just on the spur of the moment.”
I shocked and asked.”What do you mean?”
Deep down, I wanted to say yes to her.
“Your life will be totally changed. Lifestyle, religion and the way you are living now. Did you know about it. Have you forgotten our house rule…..”
“Mom. Please drop this unnecessary conversation.” I intercepted.
She rolled her eyes.
Angry was written on her face.
“Henry. What you need to do now is to think how to get Sook Kuan back to you.”
I looked at her furiously as her request has invaded my already broken old world which was in the midst of recovering.
“Mom. She already scarified her life with me and all her efforts were in vain. It is over. There is no second chance anymore. She needs freedom.”
She shook her head incredulously and walked towards the door.
I looked away.
She turned back and warned. “Listen to me carefully. I will only accept Sook Kuan as my daughter in law. No one else. If you insisted on doing this on your way, then you will take the consequences.”
I rolled my eyes.
Both of us said nothing.
Minutes passed, a sound of footsteps echoed.
She slammed the door on her way out without looking back.
Simple. Clear. Straightforward.
I sank down on my bedside and reached forward to shut the light off.
Am I wrong
What can I do?
Looking at the window, I pictured Ann in my home now and make our breakfast, lunch and dinner together in our tiny kitchen.
It seemed that it would be vanished in the blink of an eye.
Dilemma. Undecided. Frustration.
A way of escape from realty is only choice.
“Hi!”
I looked up.
The young lady in uniform pointed to my smartphone on the table.
In an instant, I noticed that she was the same waitress to wake me from my deepest thoughts.
“Yes. Of course. Thanks.”
She nodded and walked away.
I checked my smartphone.
There was a short message.
It was beyond everything else in my eyes.
ANNALETCHUMY
HI! HENRY! IF YOU COULD FIND ME WITHIN AN HOUR. THEN YOUR LIFE WILL BE CHANGED. IF YOU MISSED IT, THEN I WILL BE VANISHED IN YOUR LIFE. NO SECOND CHANCE.
I mulled this over.
A pause.
A long pause.
I checked my smartphone screen, it was precisely 1.30 p.m.
An hour.
Only an hour.
This is the hustle and bustle of the big city, Kuala Lumpur City Centre.
Think fast now.
I looked around and tried to spot her in the distance. But, it failed.
Frustrated.
Again. I turned away and tried to do the same at the pedestrian bridges on the top of the walkways. But, it failed again.
Distressed.
Where was she actually?
The limited time was started to count.
At the same time, my heartbeat begun to beat quickly furiously.
The sky was crystal clear and no rain was in sight. I took my walk along the sidewalks lined up with various type of restaurants and cafes and packed with people from all walks of life.
Every single building of every street was a chance of finding her. Don’t give up! I have missed out many chances in my whole life. Now, not this time.
I turned off the sidewalks and ascended the pedestrian bridge.
Closing my eyes, I went back to the start and reviewed everything on my way again.
Minutes passed, my smartphone shown precisely 2.10 p.m.
I stood by the railing of the spacious bridge and looked down at the sidewalks below.
There was a cafe resonated with loud western music and packed with regulars and tourists. Happy hour.
Suddenly I realised that the Double Hope cafe didn’t play any music or song. But, I heard the song of Glenn Medeiros behind my seat and it was replayed in several times.
I took a deep breath. She always at my side!
She has already been dropping the big hint. Why could I miss out this only clue? We heard this song many times in our life.
I descended the stairs into the sidewalk and escalated my steps back to Double Hearts cafe where I received her unexpected message.
It was 2.30 p.m. when I reached the entrance of Double Hope cafe. A moment of excitement and sentiment arose within my inner heart. Slowly, I walked past few tables but stopped in the middle of my way. I saw her back from the sitting chair that next to my previous table. Also, The song of Nothing’s Gonna Change my Love was still in the play.
Fear.
I stood still as if I was part of the pillars stuck in the ground.
What could I say?
Did she still give me a second chance to fix my mistake?
Within seconds, she stood up casually and never looked back.
A pause.
The same song we loved still hung between us.
Slowly she turned and looked at me.
Automatically, my tears rolled down my face.
Time seemed to stop for a moment.
She moved forward, a delighted smile on her beautiful face.
“Hi! Henry. How are you?” She asked.
I nodded and tried to weep away my tears.
“You are still the same.”
I nodded again.
“Ann. Have I passed the test? An hour?”
She checked her watch and smiled.
No answer.
I waited.
My heartbeat was beating very fast.
She reached out her hand and said “This moment is out. It is more than an hour..”
I intercepted and pulled her into my arm and said.”Forever. Ann. Forever. I won’t let you go again from my life.”
She smiled and hugged me tightly.
I felt that my old world has already been changed to a wonderful world with hope and love.
Also.
This new city to be our new and good beginning. I love you Ann.
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