What if this? What if that? What if here? What if there? If we live our lives surrounded by a multitude of “what ifs,” what kind of existence do we create for ourselves? Is it a life of fulfilment, or one of perpetual uncertainty and regret? The mind is a curious thing—it loves to wander through endless possibilities, asking, “What if I had taken a chance? What if I had been in a different place at a different time?” Our lives often seem to be encircled by these persistent questions.
What if I had pursued a different career? What if I had chosen love over ambition? What if I had never met my soulmate, not in this lifetime or any other? What if I had prioritised myself above all else? And, perhaps most intriguing of all, what if “what ifs” never existed, and we never had to make choices between two or more options? What if I had been born an orphan, or in a grand palace instead of a government hospital? What if I had struggled with embarrassing habits well into adulthood?
Senior, O Ultimate One, O Mentor, O Redeemer, O Universal Spirit, O God—why does my mind constantly play host to so many “what ifs”? What if you exist, but not in the form I imagine? What if you are something entirely different, beyond my comprehension?
Caught in this endless cycle of “what ifs,” we often forget to live our lives to the fullest. So much of what happens is beyond our control, and yet, we spend our days obsessing over the possibilities. The only thing truly within our grasp is the path we choose to walk. The rest—those lingering doubts and alternate realities—we must learn to let go. Sometimes, the greatest obstacle to our growth is not what we have yet to learn, but what we must unlearn. Our potential is often blocked by the very lessons we cling to.
What if I told you that your learning, accumulated knowledge, and habits might be hindering your progress? Sometimes, to move forward, we must release the old ways of thinking and open ourselves to new experiences.
Let me share a story—a pivotal moment from my life that perfectly illustrates the power and paralysis of “what if.” One fine morning at my university, a girl appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Seeing her, I felt as though I had arrived at a crossroads. I was caught in a dilemma: should I pursue this connection, or let what might be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity slip away?
At the time, I was working as a lecturer, a fact that would soon complicate matters. As fate would have it, she was one of my students, albeit a non-attending one. After a few days of casual conversations on WhatsApp, I found myself compelled to confess my feelings to her. Her reaction was shock and disbelief. “What are you saying, sir? Are you serious?” she asked. “How did this happen? When did this happen? We’ve barely met. How could you possibly be in love with me? You hardly know me!”
I tried to explain. “I have seen you, even if only recently. But isn’t that the nature of ‘what if’? What if we had never met? What if our paths had never crossed? There are endless scenarios that never occurred, but under the banner of ‘what if,’ anything seems possible in the castles we build in our minds. What never happened can still happen. Creation is ongoing; new stories are always unfolding.” Let’s not dwell on what never happened; instead, let’s focus on what has happened and what can still happen. If we must consider the “what if” scenarios, let’s think about the blessings in disguise. This good can be found even in difficult situations. By doing so, we may discover that positive outcomes often arise from adversity, and that is how we can arrive at the best possible consequences.
We decided to go with the flow, allowing our small talk to evolve into deeper conversations. As we grew closer, however, our interactions sometimes turned into arguments, each of us struggling to protect his or her self-respect. Love—oh, what a confounding emotion! Does it even exist in the mortal world we inhabit? Oscar Wilde once remarked, “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” He also said, “There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”
It seemed she was interested in me, valuing the time we spent together and our regular conversations. Yet, as is so often the case, life continued to revolve around “what ifs.” I wondered: what if she loved me but hesitated to admit it, just as so many others do? Her actions seemed to pull me back every time I tried to step away, never giving me a direct answer to my question: “Do you love me?”
One day, she revealed another “what if” that had been weighing on her mind. “Do you know why I haven’t said yes to you?” she asked. “It’s because… what if he returns?” When I asked who she meant, she told me about someone she had loved deeply—a man four years her junior. Their love story was the stuff of movies, full of dramatic twists and unresolved longing. He would appear in her life sporadically, and the last time they met, he had asked her to wait for him. With her birthday approaching, she was reluctant to commit to me, holding on to the hope that he might call. “What if he calls and asks about me?” she wondered. She didn’t want to betray someone she loved so profoundly, someone she was willing to wait for, based solely on the fragile hope of a “what if”—the possibility that he might return and find her with someone else.
And so, the “what if” story continued, its threads weaving through every aspect of our lives. We are all, in some way, prisoners of possibility, captives of the choices we did not make and the futures we imagine. Yet, perhaps there is beauty in this uncertainty. For every “what if” that haunts us, there is another that offers hope—a reminder that the story is not yet finished, and that new chapters are always waiting to be written.
React
