Give up.

"IT'S OK! PLEASE!" She begged as her worried voice screamed at him through the phone. They don't usually quarrel but when they do, it was all for him... "I'll be there... We can figure it out..." Her weeping was clear, and was that the first time that he revealed his decision?

He wondered why she was soo upset, when it's upto him to decide what he was going to do.

"We will get through this... Together..." She forced a smile through her tears as she locked the door of her apartment. "I'm coming! Please don't do that!"

He cut the call. Took a sigh at his pathetic body and squeezed his chest in pain. His room was like a trashbag waiting to be taken out, and under his legs were his test papers. He didn't do great as usual. sigh...

He took another step but now he was down, he was climbing down the stairways called success. Maybe he was done?... Maybe he was used to it... All his hazel eyes showed was their tired tears.

And climbing up onto the chair, he closed his eyes as he was ashamed to look at how his life turned out. He believed on his decisions, and his decisions lead him to that fate, and he was convinced that it was just not for him to dream anymore. And deciding upon the last decision he had to make to escape... death.

But as his eyes opened to look at the loop made by the rope, by which he was supposed to hang. Instead... He saw... His past... He saw the colourful world behind the loop. He untied it and as the rope spread and hit the ground the world grew clear. His childhood, her... He saw how they used to hop around like red butterflies under blue moonlight.

Why did he bother tell her?... He realised that he can't just leave her alone... Cause she never left him. He wanted to conclude that she had nothing to do with what happened to him. To assure that she sleeps with no regrets...

That's right... He couldn't let her feel that way... But was she the only one for him?... Was she the only one who ever tried to push him while others tried to push him, backwards , too?... No...

He turned his wet eyes from his friend and himself. And looked at another shining light... And an orb which he forgot to remember... A diamond he forgot to take with himself while growing up.

Himself... His enthusiastic child self.

He saw the beautiful moonlight shining on his young self and his charcoal drawings. He was smiling like a fool, and was easily mesmerised at his raw art talent. His incomplete stick figures, smudgy paper... Wait... The child's room was also a mess but why was it nothing like his room?

Scattered bit of papers, waterpaints all over the floor, scribbles with crayons and brocken pieces of pencils. The only difference that he noted after a long observation... The child's mess represented hardwork, and his mess represented Laziness at most.

He took a look at his arts and was amazed to look at how full of life they were... He stood like a statue wondering how the black charcoal threw such vibrance on his younger self's face and himself. And with a smile, the little boy, himself, looked at his older self and asked, "Why would you quit?"

Gasp!!

His rock playlist was bursting in high volume... He unplugged the earphones and looked at his room... The same trash bag. He gazed at his test papers which were unchanged. And then at the ropes which were not tied into a loop yet. He remembered his dream...why would you quit?

He smiled...

A rope, knife, scissors or a bottle of meds... Can be choosen by the hand which leads the life... But he knew that until they were in the drawer above his study table, the constant feeling to stop won't end. He realised that until he tries to be immortal, he will always want to know death. It was time to change their place. They belong no where in his house where he could dream.

And this time she opens his door, she would find a corpse... But of him, an adult who was never taught how to live like one... And find a child who knew how to live according to him, a child who understood that falling and being injured won't stop resist him from walking... A him on his study table working on what he is. What he ought to be.

"Not all dreams come true, until you don't attempt to make them reality"