Sec... Better Chances

She was sitting to my left, holding my hand beside her lap while I was running my fingers through the MacBook's trackpad. It was around 9 PM and we had forgotten to turn on the lights through the hours of conversations we'd been having since noon. The open door was the only source of light from the living room in the laptop-lit room where we sat together. A sudden block came over the light, indicating someone entering the room. It was Rahul, her brother and my close friend. Eyes locked to his phone and a hand reaching out to the room's light switch, his footsteps unhooked my hand from hers.

"Finally, you are here" I said.

"Yeah, the cab was a bit late," he said, still his eyes on the phone. Rahul knew that I was dating his sister for the past 4 months now, and unlike typical Indian families, he wasn't having any concerns about it. However, I was still sceptical about being a normal boyfriend to his sister in his presence.

On a reflex, my eyes now went to the upper right side of the screen. It was 9:23 PM and I knew I had to leave. I slid the MacBook into my bag and turned towards her with a soft smile, "I'm leaving"

A 'click' was heard and the light was finally turned on, brightening her fair skin much more. As I locked my view on her gleaming brown eyes, "Okay" she said.

"Do you have to leave just after I come home?" asked the tall, athletic and fair Rahul, raising his head to see me.

"I was just waiting for you to arrive... else she'd be alone right because I've got a meeting with a client later tonight"

"Cool, go home safe then" he smiled. I smiled in return with a nod and rose up from her. Placing my hand on her head, I gave a gentle nod through her free-flowing jet-black hair as she returned a smile to accompany me. Exchanging smiles from either side of the doorstep, I headed towards the elevator and she closed the door. As I walked, last week's conversations started accompanying me in the silent hallway.

"You can actually move in with us if you're okay... it'd be better for all of us" Rahul said. She was beside him with a smile. The siblings were on their own in Chennai, while their parents were in Bengaluru, at their Ancestral home.

My smile slipped in to cover my nervousness. My trust phase had still not settled in.

"Let him take his own time" she told Rahul. I was relieved.

As the elevator opened, I stepped out back to the present and walked toward my bike. Just then, my phone started ringing. It was chatterbox Robin, so I didn't pick up the call.

---

Later that night,

Once the meeting was over, I called back Robin, unsure if he was awake.

"Are you busy?" asked Robin.

"I was held up Robin, sorry, what's it?" I asked.

"I have to tell you something" Robin sounded nervous.

"What's it?"

"I'm in love with Smrithi, you remember her from our college right?" he said. The tall, dusky, and nerdy Smrithi. I've always thought that a silent girl like her would go with some groom pointed to her by family, but this love angle was indeed a shocker.

"God, I really didn't expect this"

"There's a problem now"

"What?"

"I'll tell you things from the beginning... we were friends after our college days and got close eventually. I then proposed to her and since then we've been committed for the past 5 years"

What the hell? 5 years? And this idiot is telling me now only when some problem has come.

"No one knows about it... I just told it to Joshua yesterday day and now to you"

"Okay okay"

Maybe they've been maintaining secrecy to avoid complications from acquaintances like me and Priyanka.

"They've been seeing a groom for her since last year and finalised someone now. She was confident about our relationship all these days but suddenly, she's asking me to break up with her and be friends".

Meera flashed in front of me. Robin continued, "she was very confident about our relationship and said that she'd talk to her parents when the time comes. Now she's totally backing out"

My mind was playing the scenario with the memories of my past with Meera as Robin continued to speak.

"She used to see me as the first person to rely upon during any problem"

"Hmm" she did.

"I stood by her even when her ex-boyfriend threatened her"

"Hmm" she did.

"We were even physically intimate, doesn't any of these count to her?" he yelled.

"Hmm, it won't"

"What, why are you saying so?" Robin asked, perplexed.

"Because some women are like that"

---

We were in the cafe, sitting amidst her group of friends when Shraddha received a call from some stranger. Probably some professional from the looks of her body language while on call. She had invited me to her friend's birthday celebration and I was getting to know everyone in the circle with Rahul's help. It was new for me as my past relationships were much in secrecy and not many knew about us as couples. Shraddha came excited into the group and pulled me out of it to a corner, "I've been asked to perform live at a series of concerts starting from Mumbai, a week from now"

"That's fantastic! Congrats sweetheart" I said. Shraddha's songs have been trending all over the country for the past quarter year and she has always wanted to perform in front of a live audience.

"I'll be gone for nearly a month, is it okay?" she sounded concerned.

I matter to her.

"Nothing to worry, I'll be fine" I said, and her smile filled back, "I have a request though"

"What?" her shiny eyes went in their covers for a bit.

"Can you give me a live call for each of your performances?" I asked, and she nodded happily, hugging me with a peck on the lips.

---

It was a week since Shraddha had left for the concert and I was on my way to spend the night with Rahul. He had set up the audio and video systems for Shraddha's performance. Huge speakers were set up on either side of the 85-inch display monitor in the living room. Like every other middle-class Indian bachelor, I had my dream home pictured with these kinds of electronic goods. I bought my dream sedan recently, on loan, but for someone like Rahul or Shraddha, it was a matter of a card swipe.

The anchor commenced the event and the show began. Just then, my phone rang.

"I'll be back" I said.

"Is it really important?" asked Rahul.

"Yeah dude, he's broke"

"Okay I'll call you out when Shraddha comes on stage"

"That'll be great" I said and swiped green as I went out to the hallway.

"What happened, how did things go?" I asked. Over the last few days, Smrithi had been repeatedly asking Robin to be friends with her after marriage. The engagement took place today and though I tried my best to stop Robin, he went to gift her for one last time.

"She was nervous seeing me, probably afraid if I'd do something, but I gave her the gift and came back" he said, sounding down.

"What was it?" I asked.

"An idol of Lord Krishna. She likes the god"

"In my case, it was a huge unicorn" I said as my eyes blanked out to the last time I saw Meera at her doorstep. The past few days have been tough on me as well. Recent conversations with Robin have started kindling my past with Priyanka and Meera, with the latter on a majority.

"Will she be happy? What if she isn't?" Robin asked. He was concerned.

"If so, you'll be helpless and it'll haunt you" I said, "I accidentally saw Meera at a theatre last year with her husband, and she didn't seem to be happy... they seemed distant. Now these conversations with you have sent me on a guilt trip"

"Hmm... does Shraddha know about your past relationships?"

"Yeah she does, and I think it doesn't matter much to her. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing though" I said. As an ambivert who didn't know how he got himself into and out of two relationships in the last 5 years, it's been tough for me to understand women now. Movies have played their fair share of confusing young adults like me and now I'm just progressing in this current relationship by remaining silent during tough situations. In these situations, Shraddha takes the decision to drop the topic itself.

"She's up next" shouted Rahul.

"Coming" I replied to Rahul and came back to Robin, "I'll just tell you one thing, If you feel like doing something to get her back, do it now. You won't get the chance again"

"What? Why are you saying so?" I could sense that Robin was startled.

"Before a few days of her marriage, Meera called me and asked if I was still thinking of her, and I said no... I was not completely over her but lied. Now I think if it was my mistake for her current state" Robin didn't make a noise "You got what I'm saying?" I asked.

"Yes"

---

It's been three weeks since Shraddha had left for the concert and Robin's breakup has been running various thoughts of guilt in my head. Rahul held up at the office for the past one week and had just aggravated the scene with loneliness.

I was awake on the bed, but still captivated by its sense of comfort when the old questions came by,

What did I do wrong? How many gods would I've prayed to be with either one of them for this whole lifetime? I only wanted to be a good partner, right? What would have these gods lose if they gave one of them to me under some circumstance?

The pillow beneath my hand reminded me of the time when I pat Meera to sleep on my lap. Breaking memories to reality, the doorbell rang. As I walked towards the door and opened it, I was still unsure if it was reality or a dream, because Meera was standing in front of me.

---

Meera had gotten divorced from her husband and didn't know where to go, so I had asked her to stay with me for the time being. Shraddha was returning from the concert today and I wanted to talk about certain things to her in person, so I came to pick her up.

"Raghuuu" she called out my name with excitement from a distance. After boarding her luggage into the car, we settled down. She then handed over a gift box to me. I held it with a nervous grip.

"Before I open this gift, I need to tell you something" I said, uttering each word carefully.

"What's it?" she asked, her shiny eyes going on cover for my response.

"Meera came to my apartment last week" Shraddha's eyes widened. "She has broken up with her husband and has nowhere else to go" her eyes sunk a bit.

"I've now asked her to stay in my apartment, so, shall I move in with you?"

"What?" asked Shraddha, still comprehending what I said.

"Thank you for bearing with me, can we move forward together?" I asked, this time more confident, and our lips locked the answer together.

---

Later that day, Robin received the following message:

Give it all you can to get her back... But if she still flows, let her flow. Your tide will come, and at that time, don't curtail yourself with the fall of the past. For if you don't give it your fullest, how will your heart settle in peace?

---

A few months later,

It was a warm Sunday noon and I was into some serious gaming with Rahul. Shraddha was practising her pitch notes in the next room, and we boys were not allowed to talk loud, or in this case, use cuss words. That's when the bell rang and Shraddha peeked into the living room, looking at me. I paused the game and went over to open the door.

Cutting through the sun rays that passed through the corridor, stood Priyanka, holding her baby.