I flew

I was quite young( I am still hehe)during the time I first attracted towards my career thoughts. I was almost in 7th std when I first thought to fly high to the sky. No one believed me as of course it was the age when you dream many and change of course. Irony here I writing and a plane is going above me.

I dreamt to be an air hostess and never looked back. People approach to become a pilot as they thought this is a job like a waitresses in the planes. If an air hostess is a waitress then why are pilots called to be a pilot and not just a plane driver? No offense.

It wasn't that easy to be a dreamy person. As a kid, no one believed and only laugh. But besides laugh my parents believed in me and became a tree. Tree that provides shelter of protection to the person under it. But was it even enough?

But between the life of dream and success, there is a something called phrase. I never knew adulthood will change me. Anxiety yes for sure. I was quite very young when I first went through something which is not acceptable to any girl or women's life to be this bad. I felt the fake manhood which made me depressed. When I got to know the meaning of it, it was too late. I shared all the incidence to the hashtag my person. But I had no idea about his intention. All the things was spread and I got a title of "maal". All my reputation went almost over.
I felt like every men are same. But then suddenly I realised that my father always protected me. Isn't he a man? Who said all are same my father is the like a tree, providing shelter of protection to me.
Alot things shaked my hand and increased my depression. " Itne chote bacho ko kya depression? " But yes I got it. I tried to die. Many thing went like that and only thoughts I had was this. Before doing anything more, I lost one of my relative who was quite close to us(my family). My parents cried. My father was having tears and tears. "Han mere mard ko bhi dard huva". It was a time I realised my important. I mean the person who died was my relative but I? I am their own blood na? Who would be happy if you die? Me? I will never know if I am happy dieing. But mummy papa? They will always feel losser as they will think that there was something which happened because of them which is not actually even true. It felt like a second life.
To get out of it I tried alot else. I made YouTube my friend but my parents my best friend. I started learning marathi, make up and started watching cabjn crew videos to make me up. I started my meme page during the lock down and after some time it blew my Instagram. Pinterest, filtercopy, facebook, whatsApp, google everywhere it was. A year changed me. It brought out all my goods. I had phobia of crackers but that year I enjoyed it. That one year was like"apna time aa gya".
I made a wall between me and my family before. It was easy to built but after realising it, I was sinking in a river of guiltness. That year I made my parents my own one. Before that,it was like no hope on me from my parents.
I always felt"bichre ko kesi aulad mili"but that my year I was like achi aulad banna hai. My parents want me to study hard just for my good and not for marks. During that I used to remove all my anger on studies. Not tearing up pages! I started studying for 10 and more hours and never felt bored of it. I felt it more interesting than people outside back bitching. And finally me achi aulad ban payi.
That years I broke all my tears, overthinking, anxiety and brought me out of it. I published my poetry book, medals in dancing, enjoyed every festival and now received and mail for cabin crew interview. Yes, I believe "before any man I want what I dreamt". Now I laugh why I thought to die. If I died, would my parents feel proud of me the way they feel right now? Would I get a title " Multi talented girl"? Would I be able to fly?
I believe that life is as simple as you make it. It is not given to us just to blame others. Especially parents. Like this generation including ex-me, used to say "mere jese maa baap kisi ko na mile" Kyu? You did something that they deserve you? Then? At least they gave you birth. And as a girl I feel a shelter of them. It is modern world but "adhi raat ko ladki bahar nai jati", " Ladki ho ladki jese raho" And you know this all is said by the aunties too. But parents holded hand and stood with us or I would proudly say "with me". Calm the heart and feel kind for you is what makes the life easier. Thank you for reading Me(heart emoji)