The red

Red.

The only thing she saw was red. A red that's been there with her for too long now, like an entity that couldn't be shaken off and would haunt her forever. Like alarms blaring and banshees screeching mercilessly in her head with no concern for the blood that trickled down her ears.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Please stop.

These words were now like a chant, thought of over a thousand times in a desperate plea to escape. But no matter how much she begged or cried, the words stayed in her mouth, refusing to spill out and help free their owner.

She couldn't move - her body paralyzed at the spot she was currently sitting at. The actual noises in the room had faded out long before and only the voices in her head remained - scratching and hissing, like nails scraping across a blackboard, eternally at work to make her life a living hell.

Her vision had glossed over, lips trembling with fear she couldn't control. A fear that engulfed her like a starless night sky and sucked her dry until her hope of a new day disappeared.

Then she felt it.

Felt the oh-so-familiar sting of memories she had carefully locked inside a rickety and overstuffed drawer in the deepest depths of her mind. She could sense the lock break piece by piece, could feel the papers of regret and unwanted experiences slipping out one at a time.

And she could do nothing to stop it.

Their edges hurt like swords, each memory a soldier from the abyss, piercing into her body with no hesitation and chaining her to the ground. Each stab took her to a place she didn't want to see, didn't want to experience, didn't want to fix.

The biggest one though seemed to circle her menacingly - like a beast waiting for its prey to be completely and utterly devoid of any hope before sinking its claws and teeth and finishing the job.

She was just a hollow husk when its time came. The memory dripped into her agonizingly slow like a leaking tap - each drop a bullet shot straight through her chest, wanting her to feel each and every little detail.

Drop.

She sat on a dining table in a brightly lit room, a finished plate of food in front of her. She could see her mother's lips move from across her - she was smiling. Was it a fun conversation? A happy time? She didn't know.

She couldn't focus on anything but the one thought in her mind, waiting to come out. Her mother tilted her head in concern, "Are you okay?"

That one sentence was the catalyst for breaking the dam inside her brain. Two words spilled out of her mouth, feeling like a poison she had been storing for years. She could no longer taste its bitterness, no longer feel the suffocation in her lungs.

She thought she could finally be happy, be free. But one look at her mother's face, and it all came crashing down.

Alarms rang in her head, red filled her vision and everything changed.

Everything was red.

Drop.

A lonely empty table and an untouched plate. Her mother in another room and her brother nowhere to be seen.

She thought he would have been there. She had hoped he would have been there.

Stones weighed on her back and water filled her lungs.

The sound of her favorite song. A call that contained nothing but anger. A promise broken.

Ropes slipped up her legs like poisonous snakes, rooting her to her spot.

A corpse.

No sound. No conversations. Not even the voices in her head appeared.

Just a lonely empty table and a red that crept to her side.

Drop.

A scream awoke her from her sleep. Sitting awake on her bed, she could hear it increase. Their words shot like arrows that pierced her already battered heart, with no concern over the hurt it was bringing her or each other.

Go back to sleep. A voice told her.

She stood up instead, opening the door just enough to peek outside. She watched, dull eyes tracking their movements before one of them caught her figure.

"Go back to sleep", They said, closing the door.

She stood in the dark for a minute, wondering if they would stop now. But the anger merely increased and so she lay back down, holding her blanket close to her chest as a red surrounded her form.

Drop.

"I hate her"

Three words that sucked the breath from her lungs the moment she heard them. What had she done? What did she do so wrong to deserve hate from the people she called her friends, the people she thought she was close to?

Were all the smiles fake? All the laughter forced? Were all the compliments merely sugar-coated backhanded insults meant to keep her at bay until she finally found out?

Found out that her friends did not think of her as one, did not understand her the way she thought they did.

She had placed her trust in them, had gone to them for comfort, had hoped they would be better than the last.

But good things seldom appeared for her.

That she should've known.

So with a heavy heart, she walked into the room, smiling like she had heard nothing, had realized nothing, and a familiar red taking place by her side.

Drop.

Drop.

Drop.

Before more memories leaked and she could handle it no more, a voice spoke to her, "Think of them, the ones who were there for you through all this. The ones that brought you to the surface,"

She looked around her red surroundings, desperately searching for the figures of the few she trusted. The ones that trusted her and loved her. Though she could not see them, she felt their presence with her, felt the happiness they brought to her.

The soldiers stopped in their tracks, and the beast snarled in annoyance. The drawer was now a cupboard, the memories filing themselves neatly. No lock hung on the door anymore. It didn't need to. She didn't need to.

The scratching in her head quietened angrily, retreating to a safe corner, ready to attack when the time came again. But she wouldn't let it. The leak was fixed - albeit temporarily, but it was good enough for now.

"You can't escape us," the red whispered in her ears - a promise.

She smiled sadly, "I know. But I will,"

The familiar entity dispersed from her vision and she could not help but feel a sense of emptiness - like a childhood friend lost to time. But she felt its fear, felt it knew its words had no meaning.

She blinked back her tears, rubbing her eyes with her hands to get rid of its echo, and finally, she could see where she was.

She was back. She was not stuck anymore.

The woman sitting across from her smiled proudly, a notepad and pen clutched tightly in her hands, "How do you feel, Hani?"

Hani looked around the room, a small smile gracing her tired face. She let out a sigh of relief, one she had been holding in for too long. Her resolve was steely, her mind free and her mind light. She had never felt this confidence in herself before.

"I think," She glanced to her right, seeing that the red was no longer present like a pet by her side,

"I think I'll be fine."