Letter to my scars

Letter to my scars
"Stop tickling me Sushant" Paroma couldn't stop giggling as she carefully stroked Sushant's face.
"I won't let you go........ever " said Sushant while he gazed into her deep brown eyes. "It's moment like these that makes me want to live more and more when I know I can't " Sushant said while he laughed. Sushant's death talks always infuriated Paroma , annoyed Paroma removed his hands from her hip and asked him to never talk about death ever again. "Why do you always talk about dying ? Do you ever think that what would happen to me if you die?". Sushant pulled Paroma closer and gently kissed her forehead while he whispered I love you into her ears . Paroma blushed while she tried to cover her face with her hands. "Let's go to the backyard it's full moon " , Paroma gently nodded as she agreed to Sushant's proposal. They quietly walked at a leisurely pace so that they do not wake other people up. "It's so alluring" exclaimed Paroma. The moonlight made her look like a goddess . Kohl made her eyes look like they were drawn by an artist. Sushant took her to the garden of evening primrose. The plants danced as the gentle breeze blew . The backyard was their place , they sneaked out from their house to meet here in each and every full moon night. He started collecting flowers to make Paroma her favorite flower crown . Paroma sat in the porch and started talking about the day when she confessed her love to Sushant . She started reminiscing that day , it's the best day of her life , she remembered how nervous she was, she remembered how she smeared Kohl around her eyes hastily as Sushant was calling her downstairs. "Amar Nishit o raater baadol o dhara" (Come O' monsoon shower of the night, Come silently into my dreams, Come disoriented. O' treasure of the darkness - Drape my mind and soul, Neither the sun nor stars do I desire. When the world is in sleep - Swipe away my droopiness slyly. Sneak alone into my hut - In the form of a symphony, And do respond to my flow of tears) played in the radio as she rushed downstairs and apologized to Sushant for keeping him waiting for too long. She wore a bindi and tied a gajra around her hair , it made her look majestical. "That was our first date, I was a nervous wreck , do you remember how shy I was ? I didn't even had one samosa" said Paroma as Sushant laughed out loud. Paroma remembered her days of glory as she stood up from the chair to take a stroll around the garden . She walked and remembered her days of glory. She remembered how Sushant brought her roses every time they met when they were dating and sang Rabindranath Tagore's song to her while they sat by the river Ganges and enjoyed the sunsets . She remembered how they got married and how beautiful she looked as a bride in a red saree. She lost the track of time as she rummaged through the yard , stepping on the little wild flowers with her feet. "Why did it end? " Paroma asked herself as she kept walking . She woke up the next day seeing herself in a white saree with vermillion smeared in her forehead. She couldn't recognize herself in the mirror , the Kohl was billowing from her eyes , her hair was extremely messy as she stared at herself with bewilderment in the mirror. "Where am I? Where's Sushant ? " she asked the weeping women gathered around her . " Paro don't cry Paro it's over" a women said as she tried to hide her tears with her pallu. Paroma knew what happened, she knew it by heart . "Where's Sushant, what happened to him? " screamed Paroma . She knew it was the end to everything, she knew she's widowed but she didn't want to believe it . Women around her tried to calm her down as she screamed in agony. They prepared a bed for her decorated with flowers and incense sticks around her . She knew that she was going to be a "Sati" . Those women held her tightly as she tried to escape from the ritual. "Being a Sati is a virtue and you need to do it" they said as she tried to release herself from their hands. "Your husband died last night out of cancer, you got extreme fever and that's why you don't remember anything " said a lady looking up at Paroma. She tried to fight her way out but they slapped her and her weak body couldn't take it. She knew it was the end and she could do nothing. She knew that she was hallucinating the entire night about being with Sushant. She didn't wanted to be a Sati but she was helpless. She requested the women to give her five minutes and leave her alone before she wrote a last letter , a letter to her scars. She wrote " Sushant do you remember how you said that women are the most powerful creatures of the world and how you always taught me to stand up for myself..... I couldn't, I sold myself out to the downside of the society, I couldn't keep your promise . End , yours Paro". She carefully sealed the envelope . She took a last glance at Sushant with tears in her expressionless face while she was being carried away by men beside her husband as she was being ready to immolate herself on her husband funeral pyre. - Suvangi