The Guilty Diary

What is wrong if I ask him to be there for me everytime I want him there..! You know it sucks to know that there would be literally nobody to count on who loves to be with me. Everything was fine a year ago - I was single - nobody to mingle. It's just strange to know how fast everything has just happened. From love to lust..!!! From lust to nothing. Oh dear facebook I just love the way you just taught me how I need to be in love with me - and only me. I know you would call it self-obsession but that's the trick to hold oneself now. I love it to know that I would be there for me whenever I want myself to be. Laughing aren't you? Well yes, that's silly as you would say it - but the fact is how I have become stronger without you all. Hey, in fact thanks to you - it has been all your deed that has led me to this point.Strange isn't it? I can't talk about him (or "us") but I am writing it. He says, I live in an illusion. Says, I need to wake up and realize the reality. Silly thing, (laughing) who wants to wake up? Well there's a thing that I always realize after arguing with him - that, this silly creature in my life is way mature than I expected, settles score every time. Apt that he was when he said I am expecting too much and idealizing this whole thing comparing it to what bits and pieces I have of others'. Why would they tell me the whole detail? And I held him accountable for being emotionally unavailable? Well, yes he is sometimes, but he does ask later. Doesn't he? (Oh yeah, and by the time I have got over it.)Time... The ultimate culprit of our whole situation. And this stupid time would be the one telling me lately that, "Sweetheart, your time is up! We have another queen in the game. Pack your bags and leave the stage." Yeah I don't really blame him. He's just stuck in managing everything. And me....... well surely I'll come up with something about myself too. ;)