Your arms, Arya

Lazy drizzles tapped against my helmet as I rode through the Pune traffic to get home as soon as possible. Sharanya had called. Something in her voice wasn't right when she begged me to get home immediately.

It's been a few months since I started rooming with her and I've known her since high school. Never did I ever hear her sound so distressed - except for that time during our standard tenth farewell.

Sharanya had always been the cheerful one in our group of four underdog girls during school. What brought her into my life was that first rain on the third day of standard ninth after summer vacation.

We were all back to school, some enthusiastic and some dilly-dallying. I fell into the second category, eager for the weekend. Along with the bag, which weighed equal to boulders, I carried that look on my face. The one which said stay away or I would glare you to death. Folks did stay away; so I only had a couple of friends.

On that day, our physical training teacher cancelled the said period due to the downpour. I sat alone on the first bench, not caring about it. I was in a haste to complete my chemistry homework from tuition before the start of the next period. Right when I thought I would complete the homework conflict-free, the teacher entered our class. She said the words I dreaded the most. I wouldn't have dreaded them had my bench partner - who was also my best friend- been present, but when the teacher said:

"Class Ninth D has my proxy. Their maths teacher is absent due to rain. All of you will have to move to that class for this period. The last one to leave the class, please switch off the lights and fans and close the door."

I sighed and rubbed my sweaty palms on my uniform dress. There was not a single person who had been friendly with me in the past from that class. Class Ninth D had students who knew nothing but to bully and annoy kids from the other classes.

My feet grew heavy as I started walking. I was the last person to exit the class with that constant thought of bullies poking my mind. I looked up from the now closed door to the back of the teacher. She was walking towards the class, which was at the end of the hallway. Without thinking much about it, I took steps back. The next thing I knew, I was rounding up the corner of the hallway. Away from the teacher's eyes and ran to wherever my feet took me. Dependent on them, I ended up in the laboratory where experiments took place on one side. I walked through the row of benches on the other side of the lab and took a seat at the very last bench.

While I had my head buried in my work, I felt someone's lingering presence beside the bench. Thinking of it to be the lab assistant, I further buried my head more so she would leave me be.

Instead she said, "Class Ninth A?"

My head shot up at the voice, which was younger and smoother. The complete opposite of our lab assistant's voice.

"Aren't you supposed to be in D division right now?"

Her small lips tugged upwards in a knowing smirk. She had the Monitor badge on her uniform, and I looked up in her dark mirth filled eyes. It eased some of the tension, which helped me open my mouth and speak. "Whoever you are, I don't think I owe you an explanation."

Well, I could've said something nicer. Something about the small mole over her upper lip, or her impressive height. But whatever, she was intruding!

"I'm new here. My name is Sharanya from class ninth D."

Wow! Is she here to bully me?

"Okay, Sharanya from class ninth D, however do you know where I should be?"

"I see you everyday, going inside A division."

The way she fixed her eyes on mine when she said that made my stomach flip and my breathing wavered. I said nothing. When the eye contact ended, I buried myself in the work.

She stood there for a few silent seconds and then, "Actually, I need your help."

I looked up at her, "With?"

"I have to take some books to the staff room, and I think you're the nicest person available here."

The signature puppy-dog look and for some reason I was in, "No need to butter me, I'll help you."

And somehow when she flashed a genuine smile, unknown to me, I was smiling too.

We divided the books and started towards the staff room. It was in a completely different building. Long way.

"Your friend didn't come today? The one with big eyes and curly hair."

"There's water logging where she lives. How do you know her?"

"I'm big on observing, Arya."

"Aryanka. Arya is only for special people."

The conversation flowed as I asked her about her previous school. She told about the incompetent teaching staff and how badly it had affected her studies. As she went on speaking, her voice seeped into every fibre of my bones. And by the time we were leaving the staff room after keeping the books, I had invited her to eat tiffin with me.

Gradually, it became a routine. We started spending the recess together along with my other two friends. They liked her unproblematic nature. I started going to school early because her bus came early. While leaving, I walked faster than a rabbit to reach her bus before she left. All to have a few extra minutes to be in her magnificent company. Then I took those memories home to ponder over my growing fondness for her. I was oblivious to the feelings brewing in my chest till two years later on the day of farewell.

I was the first one from our group to arrive that day, and also the first one in our class. I waited outside for a good while until the black saree I wore started feeling heavy and I opened the class.

I sat on the last bench scrolling through my phone, when I received a text from Sharanya:

Meet me in the lab. I need help with my makeup.

Every other standard had a holiday since it was our farewell. It resulted in the laboratory being empty.

A few seconds after I stepped into the lab, Sharanya barged in. There went whatever air and sane words I had in me when my eyes took in the yellow saree she wore. She looked nothing short of a delicate daisy: Ethereal! I blinked when I caught myself staring.

"Okay, Arya," and there she poked my heart with that name, "work your magic!"

Sharanya's eyes were wide open, staring into my eyes. There was a certain look in them. Her breath fanned my arm while I applied the mascara. The blood in my body rushed faster and my heart pumped erratically into my ears - and it all dawned on me. The feelings came down crashing on me as my hand paused and our faces started inching closer; and I blinked. It was as if snapping out of the bubble. I realised what we were about to do was nothing I had ever heard or read about happening. I closed the mascara tube, placed it on the table and speed walked out of the lab in less than a minute.

The farewell ended with me trying to ignore any kind of eye contact with her out of fear and embarrassment. What I missed that day was how low and sad her voice was.

Our exams came and went. She kept calling me. Dropped messages to meet her while collecting the results. But the coward that I was, I was afraid of her rejecting me, breaking me, and pushing me away with words I never wanted to hear. So I never responded to her.

As a teenager, I didn't know that life had a way of throwing things at you when you're the least prepared. Back then, I wasn't prepared at all. When exactly seven years later on a rainy day, I knocked on the door of my landlord - to pay the deposit of the 2BHK flat I was renting - I wasn't prepared for my roommate to be the same girl I tried but failed to forget. Once again, twenty-three-year-old Aryanka was in the same situation as the teenage one. Suppressing feelings from that one girl who was the sole reason those feelings ever appeared or even existed.

While I went through my dilemma, twenty-three-year-old Sharanya was different from the girl with those mirth filled eyes. She now had that straight face, which I used to carry. Those eyes were just dark - hollow. It all bothered me and added to my pain. It made me think that somehow I was the reason for it all.

"I'm sorry for everything," I blurted out one night when we were watching a random movie.

She had kept staring at me after that, deep into my soul. Until a lone tear escaped her, which turned into full-fledged sobs. Worried, I rushed to her side and wrapped her in my arms for the first time in forever. She sobbed and shivered till she was drained of tears. She told me nothing that night, but she fell asleep in my arms. Since then, her straight face started to dissolve into a genuine smile and a little brighter eyes.

I parked my scooter in the parking lot of the building. Since I had no idea, the first rain of the season would be today, I ended up drenched. Shivering, I pushed my keys into the apartment door lock. I braced myself for some devastating scenario when I opened the door, but all I found was an empty, dark living room.

"Sharanya!"

No response.

The light from the window guided me to move further into the apartment. I found the door of the bedroom closed. Scared, I inched closer and tried the handle. It was open. Holding my breath, I pushed it open.

What greeted me was a sight I wasn't ready for. Standing by the bed was Sharanya, wearing the same saree she had worn at the farewell. There were no lights in the room due to the power cut. A couple candles enlightened the room enough to help me see the glow in her eyes and a smile pulling up her lips.

However enchanted I was, I sceptically asked, "What's going on?"

She inhaled. "Help me with the mascara?"

And I did. The temperature inside was warm. It stopped my hands from shivering. Sharanya sat on the bed while I opened the tube. It was like going back to the lab, the look in her eyes, short breaths escaping her.

I stopped when she said, "My parents died in an accident when I was in the first year of junior college."

I stared at her as she continued, "I didn't cry when they died. All I could think about was having someone to hold me. Homely arms that I can peacefully cry in."

She paused before putting her hand on my cheek. Her voice quivered. "Your arms, Arya. I missed you every day. I was scared of reaching out to you, thinking even you would leave me, again, like that day."

"I didn't-"

"I love you. Aryanka. More than a friend, and more than anyone could ever. I've felt it since the day I talked to you!"

And that was enough for me to complete what I didn't seven years ago. Closing the mascara tube, I put my hand on her cheek and drew her in for that long due kiss. I whispered that I loved her too before placing my lips on hers and sewing our fates together forever.