Love or something else

Love or Crush

One day, while traveling to school in school bus Her eyes fell on someone in another bus whom she had never seen before..when She reached school she just hurriedly went into her clss kept her bag there nd came out in the balcony...she saw him again,when he was coming out of his bus...she saw him looking at other students playing swing...the way he smiled nd those beautiful eyes...that was just a peace to her...She wanna know everything abt him...she tried her best nd got to know a lot abt him...After that she saw him many times..she used to go to his bus to see him nd the excuse was meeting a small child in that bus who was a junior nd she liked that student that's why she is coming in that bus everyday in the boarding time...she wanted to listen his voice,talk to him for that she prayed to Almighty and it happened.She wanted to know more about him that's why she started searching him on social media...first on fb then insta but she never chatted with him by her own id...she made 2 3 fake id's just to know abt him.Then,one day,something bad happened to her and it just ruined her life..After that incident it was first time when she said that I will forget him there is nothing between us...he means nothing to her...she tried a lot but couldn't forget him then she changed his name and is still using that name as passwords.Many times she tried not to remember him but everytime she failed...she wasn't able to understand what was between him and her and secondly that guy even doesn't know she exists...whenever he was around her she used to saw him secretly...she never shared her feelings to anyone...she is still confused now she is convencing herself that he was just his crush or attraction that's it but she is still stalking him on social media...taking screenshots of his photos and saving them in her phone and often stare at his picture s.she stopped deceiving him by making fake accounts and chatting with him.Now she sometimes chats with him,wishes him on his birthday,congratulates him on his brothers wedding,on his result..infact the guy now knows her but doesn't know abt her feelings...he wished her on her birthday that made her birthday special..she has saved that message too..she is still trying to forget him because she still thinks there is nothing between them and now the thing is that she is on her way and he is on his way...there is no chance of meeting again...but who knows what is written in the fate...she always forgets that she can't forget him...may be till she stops saving his photos and blocks him on social media but the fact is that she will never do so...why??She hasn't any answer for this question...she just left this matter on Almighty...now He will help her,He will tell her what to do nd what to not..She always says, ''I will forget him...I won't recall anything abt him" but her eyes are always searching him wherever she is...in the crowd...in the streets...in the vehicles... everywhere

She is still missing him alot...and still her every glance searches only for him but she knows it very well that the bloody destiny would never make their path join again...she is broken inside but doesn't show it to anyone... everytime she wears a fake smile on her face so that nobody can ask her abt the matter...She is trying hard to control herself but it's said na that everything has a limit....so till when she is gonna control herself...one day she is gonna lose her control..her patience and that day she has to face each and everything,her family,relatives,frnds,the whole bloody world...She has to give the answer of those questions from which she was running away all time that day...She has never felt like this for anyone else...she wants to knw from Almighty that what kinda relation is this?...what kinda attraction is this?...that is making her so crazy that if she got out of control she might kill herself only because of this weird feeling..this weird relation of her with him which is nameless...which is difficult for her to explain..to understand...She is still hoping from Almighty that one day He is gonna answer her every question...She is gonna wait till then and gonna still try to forget him if still nothing happens then only her death can free her...

100 baar kaha dil sae chal bhool bhi jaa usko Har baar kaha dil nai..."Tum Dil sae nhi kehtae"