Grace Under Fire

GRACE UNDER FIRE

As the bus driver raced the bus on the dusty roads of Hosur with his trademark disregard for pedestrians and other vehicles, the passengers, accustomed to rash drivers, sat in the bus gazing sightlessly at the passing scenery. Sriram sat quietly in the second row lost in his thoughts. He was on his way to meet his mother, Janaki, who stayed in an old age home in Hosur. In the last couple of years that his mother had spent at the old age home, barring the occasional phone calls, Sriram had not found the time to visit her even once! He now felt weighted down with guilt at the thought of his mother leading a miserable and lonely life at the old age home. His mother had looked so frail the last time he had seen her.

Janaki’s life had not been easy and no one knew it better than her son.

******

Sriram’s father had been a loud and flamboyant person who had taken good care of his wife and son. Janaki was an introvert who had been content to remain in the background, taking care of her family. Despite their different personalities, they had been a happy couple until one night when his father had a massive cardiac arrest and died in his sleep. With zero earnings on hand and no qualification to get a job, Janaki had been forced to shift to her brother’s house in Chennai along with her 7 year old son.

Having no children of his own, Janaki’s brother had willingly taken on the responsibility of caring for his heartbroken sister and her son. Janaki worked tirelessly from dawn to dusk taking care of her brother’s household and toiling endlessly in the kitchen. She was forced to put up with the hostile attitude and spiteful taunts of her sister-in-law but never complained as Sriram’s future was at stake. Sriram, who was a silent witness to his mother’s unfortunate position in the household, swore to take care of his mother when he grew up and cherish her as she deserved to be.

When Sriram completed his engineering degree, he was offered a good job in a reputed company in Bangalore. He left Chennai promising to send for his mother as soon as he settled down. Very soon he became busy with his work and got caught up in the corporate rat race. He met Stella at one of the office parties, dated her and was married to her within a year.

Stella was not in favour of sharing their tiny one bedroom apartment with Janaki. Left with no choice, Sriram had requested his mother to stay at her brother’s house and then, 2 years ago, had moved her to the old age home in Hosur.

The sudden death of his close friend’s mother in an old age home had been a rude shock to Sriram. He felt guilty at how his obsession for material trappings and status had made him neglect his mother.

He was determined to set things right and take her back with him to Bangalore.

*******

The bus came to a screeching halt and the conductor yelled “Sharanalaya Bus Stop.”

Sriram got down from the bus and stared at the calm and quiet locality. The old age home was a cluster of cottages nestled in a grove of trees. He walked past the small temple built right next to the gate. He noticed a group of old men discussing the ongoing cricket series and walked up to an elderly gentleman. “Good morning Sir. Can you tell me where I can find Mrs.Janaki?”

“Oh, Good morning son. Janaki must be in her room by now. Walk straight ahead and take the first right. The second room on the left would be hers.” Curiosity then getting the better of him, he asked. “Are you related to her?”

“Yes Sir. I am her son.”

“Nice to meet you, Sriram. That’s your name, isn’t it?” Sriram nodded. “ My name is Subbu and I have been living here for the last ten years. We have heard so much about you from Janaki. She is very proud of you. Now that I know you are her son, I can see a distinct resemblance between you and your mother.” Subbu shook hands with Sriram and patted his shoulder.

Sriram smiled wryly. “Thank you Sir.”

Sriram followed Subbu’s directions and found the place teeming with senior citizens. Most of them were out in the sun, discussing random topics ranging from politics to constipation!

As Sriram walked towards his mother’s room, he noticed that the door was open. His mother sat on the doorstep reading an English book!

“When did Amma learn English?” Sriram thought in shock.

Before Sriram could call out to his mother, Janaki looked up with a puzzled look on her face, saw her son and gave a radiant smile.

“Oh Sriram, what a lovely surprise. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” Janaki came running towards Sriram, the pleasure of seeing her son evident on her face.

“I wanted to surprise you, Amma. You look good.” Sriram looked at his mother in wonder and tried to remember the last time he had seen her this happy.

“Come in.” Janaki took Sriram to her room which was sparsely furnished and completely devoid of luxuries. To Sriram, it strangely felt like coming home, to a familiar territory as the room had his mother’s fragrance.

“You must be hungry. Can I make dosas for you?” Janaki asked.

“No Amma. I had breakfast on the way. I came to meet you and talk to you. Don’t disappear into the kitchen – like you always do.” Sriram responded with a smile.

Mother and son sat on the cot and looked at each other in wonder. Janaki kept stroking her son’s arm as if to convince herself that he really was sitting in front of her.

“You look handsome Sriram. Have you changed your hair style?”

“No Amma.” Sriram laughed. “I am going bald.”

Janaki replied “I don't think you are going bald. But then, for every mother, her son is the best looking man in the world. I am so happy to see you. How is Stella?”

Sriram responded with a grin. “Stella is fine. She sends her regards. She has started working again. ”

“Oh, that’s great. I am happy for her. In fact, women should be encouraged to be financially independent. I hope you are able to share the household chores with her, now that she is a working woman.” Janaki enquired.

Sriram recalled the years when his mother had toiled in his uncle’s house without any help or appreciation.

“ Yes Amma. I do help her. How are you managing here? I am sorry I haven’t been able to come earlier to see you." Sriram said with the guilt still tugging at his heart.

Janaki waved his apology away. “You don’t need to say sorry. I know how hectic your work is and you cannot travel all the way from Bangalore to check on me. You should spend the limited free time you have with your wife and friends.”

“As you can see, I am content and at peace here. I will admit when I first came here, I was a little depressed and missed you a lot. You see, I had never stayed by myself. I have always had someone to tell me how to live my life. And here I was, all on my own, not sure what to do. But with the camaraderie and bonhomie here, it is difficult to stay despondent for long. The residents here gave me the support I needed to build a new life. At the ripe old age of 50, I finally feel free and respected. I am no longer someone’s responsibility.” Janaki’s voice throbbed with emotion.

Sriram swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Ripe old age? What nonsense Amma? You are still young and beautiful. By the way when did you learn English?” Sriram said glancing at the book that Janaki had been reading earlier.

“Oh that! There are several free courses conducted here for the residents. I have been learning English for the last six months. I was forced to learn English because of my job. Oh just a minute.” Janaki got up and opened a tiny cupboard. She took out a plastic bag.

“I have started working part-time at the office here. I help out with the paper work and do some record keeping. In return, they pay me a small salary. Nothing compared to what you might be earning.” Janaki gave an embarrassed laugh and gave the plastic bag to Sriram. “I have bought a gift for Stella. Can you give it to her please?”

“Oh no Amma. You should keep the money and not spend it on us.”

“Please don’t say no. It will make me happy if you accept the gift. I had wanted to gift Stella a sari during your wedding. But I didn’t have any money at that time and was too embarrassed to ask your uncle. I bought this cotton sari with the money that I have been saving over the last few months. I hope she likes it.”

“I am sure Stella will love it, Amma. You know how much she loves saris.” Sriram responded, silently marveling at the generosity of his mother.

Life had dealt his mother a bad hand. Anyone else in her place would have been shattered and become disillusioned with life. But not his mother! She had not only faced all the hardships with tremendous grace and positivity but had found the strength to cut away from her old life and become independent. He was not going to be force her to give all this up just to assuage his guilty conscience.

He spent the rest of the day reminiscing about the good old days and realized that there are some human bonds that remain steadfast over the years.

“Don’t forget Amma. I will be here in a month’s time to see you.” Sriram reminded his mother on his way out.

He walked out of the home with a spring in his steps and pride in his heart.