The Day of my Mother in Law's death !

When Sandhya came from the market in the evening , there is a telephone call and has been told that her mother in law has passed away in her native place . She just called her husband & told the news . He said that he would join her in an hour or so .

Just packed up few things and started with her husband as they have to travel few hours to reach the town where her mother in law has been living and incidentally the same town is Sandhya's parents town also. While her husband is driving , she started thinking on what will happen now onwards ..

I expected my mother in law's last day to come soon or later , as she has been suffering for an year or so . She was aged 75 years and has got many health issues and bedridden very badly .

Another bad thing happened to my mother in law during last one year was lack of support from her children , ie.,grown up children , that they were not prepared to take care during her illness . She had to be supported by an exclusive servant maid who spent almost 24 hours to do all sorts of help .

Though there are two sons & three daughters and their family , living very close by , they were not willing to help her and kept away from her . One son & her wife were living in the same house but they kept her alone and did not want to help her in any manner including food , clothing , leave alone taking care of her health . Her son used to walk the other side of the hall where she was bedridden , not even seeing her condition , and her wife used to stay in their room located inside the house not caring about mother in law 's condition of health .

In fact they were living in that house , belongs to my mother in law given by her father as an ancestral property , just to make sure that the property will not be taken away by anybody else in the family ,and waiting for her demise. .

Few years back , All three sons have made an agreement registered with their mother and made sure that all the properties will become theirs legally after her death , without any problems from other relatives . We used to hear that there were quarrels between her and son almost daily on many things and slowly there was a huge gap created between them .

The eldest son is also living very nearby but they were not allowed to take care of her mother , because two brothers don't go well . My husband ,being third son always had to make compromise between them being youngest in the family and keep them normal atleast for the sake of family dignity in the society .

Eldest son & family used to take care of her mother very well before second son & wife came from outside the town and started living with her . Everything started from that time onwards .. Slowly they stopped all help from outside the house & she started deteriarating fast in her health .

My husband used to talk to his big brother and asked to take care , but the answer was always negative saying that his brother was not allowing to do so..

My husband used to ask his eldest brother that we wanted to take her to our house in a far away town so that we could take care of her safely .. but he used to tell us ...

" Mother was born & nurtured by their parents in that house and lived so many years with her husband & children , with high dignity in the society . Let her spent some more days in the same house during her last days ..

"Don't worry , she will pass these days and die with peace in the same house " These words he told us not long ago .

He must have felt that her last days are counted . My husband was very concerned about her mother but he always listened to his eldest brother , being his fatherly status.

As we are living outside the native town , we could only help giving money , whenever she wants and used to talk to her on phone in the house . Once my husband was little delayed to pay the telephone bill of her , the connection was cut off by the telephone department . My husband's brother in the house did not even bother to request for reconnection, as they have bought a separate phone for their own use .

I realised the point that they did not want my mother in law to use the phone to talk to anybody , particularly with us , and they decided not to reconnect even though we paid the charges ..

Well, I could remember many things happened to my mother in law with their sons & daughters during her illness.

Tears have started coming from my eyes and feel the pain from the heart , even though I am only her third daughter in law . Now she has died after suffering so much and I prey God that she will get minimum respect for her last rituals.

I was lucky enough to spend few years with her & my father in law during our stay in the native town immediately after our marriage and that my husband was working as a Lecturer in the same town .

I remember that my mother in law was very strict and at the same time , was affectionate with me being very young daughter in law . I actually learnt good cooking and many good disciplines, & culture .

Only during that time , I learnt from her how to conduct pooja & vruthas during our many festival seasons . This period was sufficient for me to learn many basic things for an amicable family management by a woman ..

It was a surprise to many in our family how I had become so close & affectionate to my mother in law . But she knows why she likes me in a short period of time . ..basically I never resisted her on any of the instructions given to me on any work and obeyed , obeyed ...unconditonally.

When I come back from my memory, I realised that we are arriving the town and nearing her house where she is laid down .

we could see a large number of people gathered near the house, not to my surpraise , as she had been very popular with their friends ,& neigbhours .

She was a very good singer of devotional songs and used to sing bhajans during festive functions in her ladies club . So I could guess that many of her friends who are alive would have come to see her in the last day .

As it is late in the night , many relatives left for the day and wanting to come back next day for the final rituals . when I could finish my food along with my husband , we could hear some noise in the front hall where my mother in law was laid .

Both the brothers and sisters are talking in a loud voice on many family issues happened between them and I could realise that they are only fighting each other .

What a world is this ? When mother died and lying in the house for cremation next day , sons & daughters are fighting for no big issues but only petty happenings in the past .

Being very young I could not understand why they are fighting ? I just sighed my husband & he has gone to them and requested to be quiet and asked them to go & sleep early so that they can be ready for the next day work . but they seem not to listen to my husband , & continue to fight . I could not bear their talks as to why they are at the lowest ebb of their character ., when their mother dead body is in front of them .

I & my husband have to keep silent as we are the youngest and they continued argueing for some more time and disbursed to their places .

Myself & my husband could not sleep properly on the incidents with our relatives on the demise of my mother in law . we would have slept for few hours and it is morning when we woke up .

The house is dead silent and we went to the place where the dead body is kept . To my surprise , there are nobody near the body of my mother in law and things are in disarray near to the body and we have to rush to the spot and make things better .

From that time , we have decided not to leave the dead body until all rituals are performed . It is a painful feeling that there are many relatives , sons , daughters , but nobody had a feeling of being with the body . My husband told me that he was with the body until early morning before he left with other uncle to be with the body .

I could realise that only when u die u will come to know about the people around you . I could realise this with a heavy heart . I can look at my husband who is very sad that this is happening to his loving mother though she was a good & kind woman who was taking care of all in her family .

Many people started coming to the house and started preparing for the rituals . Elderly Ladies did their part to give the last bath to my mother in law and started the pooja after putting a new saree to Her .

For me this is the first time, seeing this rituals and really moved as these rituals have got good meaning for who is leaving everything in this world and going to another world as per our mythology . The body has been brought to the street before loading to the chariot prepared out of many flowers .

Suddenly black clouds have gathered and within few mintues it started raining heavily .. everybody who are with the body left the body in the middle of the street and went to the house for a sheltor .

I could see nobody near the body and my mother in law was all alone and I felt really very bad . I just quickly run to the body and trying to protect the body from the rain . To a large extent I could cover the body with my saree end . Rain God did not show any mercy on me & my mother in law .It has continued for another few mintues .

I could see many people from their house watching me standing alone with the body of my mother in law . I could hear faintly from them saying " how dare this young women standing with the dead body , trying to protect ? surpraised !! " But I thought that this is my kartavya to protect my beloved mother in law during her last rituals .

As the rain depletes slowly one by one started coming nearer to me and the body and started asking me why I am standing here alone with body ? But I felt the other way and answered " My Mother in law is alone and getting drenched in the rain , that is why I am trying to protect her ! " Yes I started thinking that I did a good thing to my Mother in Law though few people are questioning me ?

I am totally satisfied with what I have done and it is my duty being a daughter in law .

God must have given me this strength and I thank Him full heartedly .

The final voyage of my Mother in Law started and being a woman , I have to stay back at the street end and looking at the journey of my Mother In Law to the final destination for anybody who had born in this world .

What a Life ? we are born with so much happy moments and go through so many ordeals of Life , Happy & Unhappy moments and finally leave everything , to go back permanently from where we had come .

With all these things happening , we never learn to repect each other and live peacefully . When we will learn to respect Elderly people , particularly our parents .

What had happened to my Mother In Law in the last day after Death , I will never forget and the pain I had experienced will never go out of my heart . It will stay until my last day in this world .

Bearing so much heavy heart of this incident , & making up my mind to continue my Life with my Family , we started to leave my Mother In Law 's town .

My Mother in Law will stay in mind forever and guide me throughout my Life .