Reflections of a Noisy Mind

At the core of my heart I am very reserved person, love to enjoy the sound of silence, not of very adventurous typed but won’t even step back if the opportunity comes. Every day I feel a sort of confidence in me that nothing can go wrong, still aware of fact that it’s too hard to find a trusted source of encouragement from outside in this vivacious world. It’s my realization that “what’s best for you is not the one you always get”- in spite of this fact there is still hope; hope like a bird who searches for light in early dawn to make its journey a success. One or the other way we all are connected to each other by means of hope that empowers and encourages us even in our toughest times.

There are times when I feel reflective, surrounded by someone; someone unknown being familiar, present at the moment but doesn’t exist, revolving around me like mirage –feels real tends to be virtual, a part here the other nowhere. It scares me and makes me feel caught in an ugly middle position when actions to keep things going on in right directions become frail leading to hollowness and futility.

Every time I look into the mirror and ask the other side of me “who are you?” the other side replies the question as “who am I?”. Maybe some questions are best answered in terms of questions only! Interesting and contradictory to think so!!! Its all about perception maybe totally not sure of the fact that what the other side of me trying to convey , as if there’s a sort of world war three going on inside my brain , it feels like as my veins are bursting off and then a moment later everything gets surrounded in nostalgic cold enclosing the bright midst mortifying me in all aspects…………By any means trying harder than ever to cross every bar and cross every line to make things right, to patch up the loop holes, its bursts even harder ending with sorrow and regrets. Still on my part I pretend to be strong and convince myself that whatsoever be the fate of situation an uncertain way or lack of stubborn thoughts; won’t let a setback towards progress of mine in right direction.

With no words of ear bursting silence surrounding my cold tremor heart, walking on path of quicksand I said to myself –“I BELIEVE”…………..I BELIEVE in cosmos where there is someone being the strongest light directing the world, being pride of idealism in everyone’s eyes with utmost patience, strong will and invincible precision that guides me as a source to rise above the pity prejudices and shine like a pole star crowning earth like a diamond in queens tiara.

For every problems and dissatisfactory consequences leading to chaos, I tried asking myself the reason of it in the front of mirror, to find the answer whether am I the only one responsible for it? It is said “NO ONE KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN YOU YOURSELF” is it true??????? The other side of mine in the mirror has a vague enigmatic charm that gives me an essence of being born out from fire like a phoenix, nurtured by struggle to be calm , composed and divine…….he is surely a lot more stronger in character than me , I see him as a person that doesn’t gets barren in intense sun , nor a melody of change or man of principles……………………………….he is a spell of progress……………………………even on the mountain of principles he never tried to carve life in accordance with it ,instead dwelt on tough paths to be a light that shows path in darkest times.

Holding my hand in his hand, I touch him, feel him, and breathe him. I find him everywhere reminding me that I am not a line of horizon; I am bitter truth of land and sky. I adore him. He is my inspiration, my progress ,my balance ; giving me a glimpse of past , present, and future, his value can’t be calculated in it ;forming an indispensable part of mine regardless of time, space and boundaries, neither needs any recognition in me………………it became from truth to fact for me that he was guiding through his principles seeding as appreciable character in me to enhance my dignity to reach my goals……

When, where, and why he is with me?…….now hardly matters, what matters the most now was that he was always there to catch me whenever I fall, although being surrounded by tons of superficial people due to difference of opinion it’s hard to find guidance and incentive, but at the end of the day what I got is me myself all alone standing by my side all alone…….I am alone but not lonely, the man on the other side of mirror was still standing holding my hand in his hand and admiring me. I felt energized with hope and affection. It’s interesting to know that the image that was a cause of distress to me eventually became my strength. I became obsessed for him, when I moved away from mirror moved far away from me, when I look into the mirror he was there; out of my sight he wasn’t. I came closer to mirror and said “habeas corpus” and urged him to stay with me forever.

In deep anxiety and anguish I shouted and yelled with tears to pled him to break out from the mirror and be with me………I punched the mirror as hardly I could to make him free from the prison. With my blooded hands the mirror broke and got shattered into pieces on floor. I looked around and searched him in broken pieces ; piece by piece……I found him in a piece lying in the corner….he was there ! He was there, standing still and the enigmatic charm and watery eyes and said to me “what you have done my boy?…it hurts to me when you cry, I feel the pain when you bleed , I am your joy and your sorrow , I am space ,I am time……….I am you……I am there every time, am there everywhere, I live in your veins and breath in your lungs ,just BELIEVE and I will be there for you always………forever.” I Stood up and wiped blood from my hands and walked towards the window with his words in my head…..it felt light with doors of my mind open and the mist surrounding me vanished off….i can breathe in the fresh air and the nostalgic silence went away….i turned back and looked at the broken pieces of the mirror and realized that one can have infinite number of issues regarding life and questions surrounding it. Every question that comes across need not necessary to be answered and to find an answer there must be an apt question too. A few questions have their answers within them, few don’t, some questions need analysis, and some need to be examined. It’s all about perspective….THE answers to the questions are based upon the principle of channelizing you energy to analyze the situation. Even expression includes silence in it. The act to analyze the situation doesn’t means to take an action, silence is the biggest action at the moment of dissatisfaction, regrets and sorrow.

“What you want is what you try for, what you get is the one you believed, and what you got is the one you deserve the best”- we can’t have control over each and every thing that we come across, we can only control our own thoughts and actions preventing them to be a cause and liability for distress. If the situation overflows then let it go……..let it go…………let it go up above the white clouds surrounded by white serenity; like apex of great white Himalayas along the pure greenish blue glaciers flowing down the valley crossing the rocky beds down the slope to summon itself to the sea as a unity utilize yourself to explore endless opportunities.