And The Life Moves On......

That particular day, I started with decorating our room with fascinating flowers, ordering Rags’s favorite food and arranging some soft musics CD’s to play in the background.

It was indeed a very important day of my life. Important, not only because I was finally and successfully done with my conference, but because Rags was going to tell me her response regarding our marriage. Yes, you guys have got it right! Rags, Ragini, was my sweetheart, with whom I was planning to live my entire life.

Being a very sweet­looking modern Indian girl, she was a perfect example of the saying 'beauty with brains'. I can still very well remember the day, when a year back only, I met her at my friend's wedding reception. I wouldn't say that just after seeing her, a natural orchestra started to play in my mind, but her very first glimpse itself taught me how the 'love at first sight' actually feels. Don't know, it was my craziness for her or the charm of my new feelings that I immediately requested one of our mutual friends to introduce us.

Though it was a brief casual talk that day, after a few more meetings, I managed to be in her good books. Luckily, our bond was getting stronger with every passing day too and it was giving us the best time of our lives.

After being together for a few months, I was very much certain that she was willing to take it to another level and so did I. So, finally one day, I decided to propose her.

I kept trying her number the whole day, but it wasn’t reachable. She was supposed to return from some rural assignment that day, but still there was no word from her end. I was worried and exhausted, thinking about her well­being.

Next day's morning, I tried it again and thankfully, it got connected this time.

“Hi, Rags! Where have you been? Out of touch from last two days! You know, how much I was worried? At least once, you could have called and informed me."

“Oh, Sam, I told you naa that I was supposed to go to a rural area for an assignment. It was initially for a day, but I ended it up in a mess and that's why it got extended for one more day. And you know what, there was no public phone near by or any network for my damn airtel. So, tell me that how could I call you? I tried your number before leaving for it, but it was switched off.”

“OK, Rags. Anyways, is it possible for you to meet me today? I wanted to tell you something very important.”

“What is it, Sam? I am a bit busy till 4:00. After that I can probably try, but can't assure you. Anyways, I will give you a call around 5:00, then we’ll decide where to meet.”

Saying that, she hung up and then, at 5:00 gave me a call to meet her at a near­by shopping mall.

It was not at all the way, which I had planned, but I told her whatever I had in my heart. After a

brief pause of 4­5 minutes, I was losing my hopes of getting a 'yes' from her, but then to my surprise, she said, "Yes".

The moment turned out to be a dream come true for me. I was on cloud nine, thinking that I had achieved everything in my life and was ready to sacrifice everything for her. I was very sure that this relationship would work because I myself was very much keen to sort out any disputes that could emerge between us in the near future.

I was not being crazy, but our relationship actually deserved such efforts. We had spent a pleasant time in travelling, being together on weekends, watching movies, sipping up coffees and so on. With every passing day, I had started to love her more and more and very soon, realized that this girl was a very important part of my life. She was the one, for whom I could do anything and everything. The best part was that even she was very understanding and caring, just the way I had always imagined my life partner.

One fine day, she asked me for a live­in relationship. Initially, I was skeptic about the whole idea, but then, I thought of giving it a try. According to her, home could be the best place to know the real person and she wanted to judge me, before deciding that whether she could marry me or not.

I never thought that she could ask me to live with her, that too even before marriage. Moreover, since her decision was to be based on her judgement, I was feeling a sort of pressure on me. Anyhow, I made up my mind and we both managed to rent a flat by sharing the rent.

Though most of the times we used to order food, but at times during weekends, she used to prepare the lovely chicken for us. I must say that she was such a good cook and could prepare such mouth­watering dishes that at times, I used to wait for the weekends eagerly.

During that time, it was very difficult, but we decided to avoid our physical intimacy. We wanted to remain objective about the relationship and thought this would help. Somehow, we made a pact and decided to remain sincere to follow the agreement.

However with time, it started becoming increasingly difficult for us to sustain our abstinence. Moreover, now when we were living together, it seemed silly to continue this and so, I decided to go for it.

How would Rags react, when I would tell her? Would she think that I never loved her? I was enveloped with such questions, distracting my inner­self. I didn't want to lose her and so, keeping myself calm, I thought of asking her take politely.

She kissed my forehead and said, "I don't want to spoil this relationship with this kind of lust. Our bond is very pure and I want it to remain the very same way till our marriage."

Her words made me feel that to an extent, my test was over. She was thinking about our marriage. I started to believe that this relationship would definitely convert into a beautiful

marriage and that too, pretty soon.

It had been 7 months that we were living together and everything until now was very special. We understood each other completely and our bond didn't need any words to convey our feelings to each other. For me, I was feeling loved in every moment of my life. I had started gaining more confidence for everything, be it for work or love. I was enjoying every bit of it and felt like I could get even the stars for her.

It was before my Bangalore's Conference, when I decided to ask Rags about what she’d decided for the marriage thing. Though the conference was just for two days, it was pretty important for my career. It could take me to heights and I didn't want without Rags. I asked her and she told me that she would tell me her decision after my Bangalore's conference. She knew its importance for me and didn’t want me to get bothered about anything else, apart from my work. I loved her care and revered her decision so, we decided to talk about the marriage after that conference only.

My efforts got paid well that day through her warm smile. She was absolutely startled, looking at the decoration that I had done to make it special for her.

“Rags, I love you and now we should take our relationship to its next level. I think, these 7 months must have been enough for you to judge me. So, you can make your decisions freely now,” I said, asking her decision.

“Sam, I love you too and I cant live without you anymore. I just want to spend my whole life with you around me. Every morning of my life, I would like to wake up in your arms. I so want you that I promise, I would never allow any other person to come between us. And yes, I want to marry you, Sam. But...

“But, what?”

“Look, Sameer, I really want to spend my whole life with you. But, we have to make some decisions before getting married.”

“What sort of decisions are you talking about, Rags? What is it?”

“Look, Sam, these 7 months it was just you and me and we shared everything between us and remained happy. I just want it like that my whole life.”

“Rags, I am confused. Are you trying to say that you don’t want kids?”

“Of course not, Sam, I want kids, I just love them. But, I want you and our kids to live independently.”

“That’s what we’ll do, Rags. What’s a big deal in it?”
“Sam, I want you to leave your parents and start a new life with only me in your life.”

“Ragini, what do you mean by leaving my parents?”

“Look, Sam I want to live a free life with you. I don’t want to take their responsibility. As happy we are just now when we are living together, I just want it to happen it the same way all through our lives.”

“Ragini, how is it possible for me to leave my parents? I am their only son, both sisters of mine are married now. Don’t you think that it’s my first duty to serve my parents?”

“Ohhhh, Sam! You never showed me this emotional part of yours," she said and giggled. “I am serious, Ragini.”

“I am also serious, Sam. I don’t want to share you at any damn cost. And yes, if you feel so responsible towards your parents, then you can do one thing, send some part of your monthly salary to them and let them enjoy their world as we will enjoy ours.”

“Ragini, they are my parents. Because of them, I am in this world. They only taught me how to behave and be responsible. Because of them only, I came to know the true meaning of love! Its because of them, I am standing in front of you and respecting you. They are not my servants that every month I would send a part of my pay just to finish my responsibilities. Ragini, they have loved me throughout my good times and supported me like a pillar in my bad times. They carried me all through their hard times, but never let me knew that. Whatever I demanded, however bad
it was for them, they made it possible only for my happiness. Why did they do this? They did this because I was their child, they loved me unconditionally. Their love, Ragini! It is more than this love. I started loving you, as I saw you. But the fact is, when I didn’t even know what love is, I started loving my parents. When I first opened my eyes, I started loving them. I can’t leave my parents for a girl like you, Ragini, They raised me up. They have been loving me for more than 24 years. And you? Just 7­8 months, and you think that your love would overshadow the love of my parents for me? No, Ragini, you are wrong! You are a big fool to think like this! And I’ll tell you one thing, if it would come to choose between you and my parents, ohhh... forget it! You are not even 0.5% comparable to my parents. I wont even consider you. It would be pretty easy for me to

leave you rather than leaving my parents.”
“Sameer, I don’t think that with this attitude of yours, I can spend my life with you anymore.”

“Ohh come On, Ragini! You are still thinking, but I’ve already made a decision. From now onwards, I don’t want to spend even a second with you, I don't feel that love for you now and I am quite sure that it won't be revived too. So, just forget it. This relationship is over.”

Honestly, forgetting her could never be easy. That was like the biggest storm in my life. I loved her and wanted her with me forever. But as they say, "Life must go on," so did mine and I continued my search for real love in life.