supernatural! !!!!

Yes i actually was beliving in all these supernatural thingss ......becaus I felt it...I felt every thing destroying. ...breking.....I admtted it...becaus i thought it was bad time for me....it will pass....but for now nothing will be ok.........now its too long for bad days......why this isn't the good tym...why this supernatural philosophy is now failing.....when it was bad time...every thing went wrong...but now .....this time was supoosed to be good.....so why still..everything is going wrong......now I dont even expect that anything will work out ever...

actually dont feel like doing anything.....its worthless...what m I doing? why dont I deserve anything? how long I've got to wait.......

The say everything happens for a reason. .......but I cant justify...the situation around me....what is the reson that I lost my every single frend...what is the resaon that people laugh at me because I am ugly