My Great Driver

I started my day the usual way in Colombo, Sri Lanka, got up, went for a swim, feeling awesome and awake, was dead on water for a while, basked in the dawn and went home. My mind started rushing to the day’s agenda: needed to get ready for office, do my work there, come home, have fun with folks and bid the day goodbye. My employer had given a white Toyota corolla to me with automatic gears and left hand drive, wow, I felt a handicap at times. However, since there was a driver, I did not have much to worry.

I sat in the car and my driver told me few new Hindi words he had learnt (Somehow he was hell bent to learn the language I spoke). Admiring his efforts, I gave him a pat on the back and asked him to drive to work.

He took 45 minutes to park at office( good timing considering we were only 5 kms. away from work, however my colleague’s drivers took more time than that for covering the same distance.

I dared not comment on my driver’s slow speed since last time I did something like that I was almost killed ( the guy converted to an F1 kinds for few hours). I can’t remember how many times I prayed in those few hours. Anyway back to the present, I got dropped off the car and told my driver to go home. My daughter was waiting to be dropped to school so the car had to do that.

My day began uneventful, usual cup of tea, few minutes of gossip, reading emails…and suddenly my wife’s call comes. I was in the middle of something so chose to ignore it for one.

However, the calls came by the second and I got worried. I picked her call and waited uncertainly with some news I may not want to listen (like there is no water in the swimming pool, the shops are closed today so how will they spend time). She just asked me one question: Why did you forget to send the car back? Did I not know that our daughter was to be dropped to school?

I could not make any sense of this acquisition so rewinded my memory a few notches……hey I had sent the driver and car home..Those were very specific and clear instructions so what happened. I got more worried about the driver’s plight than my daughter missing school. Maybe there was an accident, hope he was not severely wounded, no one called me to report anything……my wife was still complaining and I was in some other world.

I politely asked my wife to put the phone down and let me investigate what happened ( also telling her to take a taxi to school since the whereabouts of the car are not known as of now).

So the chase for my car and driver started, what a thing to investigate while a hundred customers are trying to run me down. First things first, I borrowed my colleague’s car and did a travel back on the same route that we took in the morning. No sight of the car or the guy, no indication of an accident as well.

Next step, visit the police stations and ask for any mishaps in the last few hours: no luck here as well, infact a few thought that I have hit someone and am reporting an incident, phew it was scary. Not to mention, I had dialed my driver’s number a 100 times and all the time heard the usual announcement (you know what I mean).

My mind was sometimes running at Gigahertz speed and sometime becoming completely blank. Should I send someone to my driver’s house? If they don’t have his whereabouts then they will ask about him and what will I say….etc etc….etc…more etc….! However, I managed to convince my guts and called his agency. I briefly told them that my driver’s number is unreachable for the last 2 hours so can they inquire from his family if they have heard from him. The agency manager started palpitating rather than helping me out.

He started asking me if I have been rough on the guy, did he go back in anger etc etc….hello..I was wondering who should be on the receiving end actually ? Anyhow, with no hopes from anyone, I asked my borrowed driver if he knew where mine lives. Of course he said, he can take me to his house in 90mins flat. Wow, what a day this was turning out to be.

I gave a Rs 500 note to this guy and asked him to drop me to office and then go to my driver’s house. My temp driver didn’t ask any further questions.

I got dropped at the office and tried to concentrate on my work. Suddenly I found myself blankly staring at the screen and not paying attention to the emails. I was just ping ponging between the email contents and thoughts about my driver. It was already an hour since the other driver had left so within an hour I was expecting something (or not expecting to know what’s happened).

Knowing I cannot concentrate on work, I went on the office rooftop for some fresh air: and I found two of my colleagues smoking there: these guys were the ones who ferociously preached the dangers of smoking to the office and in the last so many months I never knew they were smokers themselves.

So before I could say anything (actually I was going to say nothing), one of them said, Rishi don’t talk about our smoking anywhere else, family will create a major situation. Oh so I realized that these poor souls are a couple in million who have sworn to their wives on the honeymoon night of leaving all vices (smoking, drinking, feasting eyes on other gorgeous women). So I settled their concerns with the wave of my hand, though I knew that very moment that these folks will never invite me to their house unless I self invited myself. Avoidance is another behavior hard to understand.

Anyhow, I was watching the people and traffic down below and thoughts returned to my driver. It was close to two hours since the guy had driven off so I should hear something back soon.

I stayed at the rooftop for 45 minutes just being blank (was like meditating on a railway station platform). Lot of time had passed so I called the driver who was on way to my driver’s house. He picked up the phone after 5 attempts and about 100 rings: each element of delay made me nervous. On picking the phone he said: saar, I am closer to house of his, I am eating, long driver saar, I getting hungry. Hands dirty did not pick your call saar. Now, I could imagine this guy eating his heart out with the Rs 500 I gave him while I was not feeling like eating at all, though I was famished. Nonetheless, I asked the guy how far is he from my driver’s house to which he said: saar, place changed here, I have to asking place, saar, I think one hour or two hour I will come to his house. Wonderful I thought.

I put the phone down and started surfing the web for nothing in particular. In between my wife called twice, I spoke to her once to know If she could manage to drop our daughter home and the second time she was also as concerned about the driver as I was so we exchanged notes of comfort and BHAGWAAN SAB THEEK KAREGA phraseJ.

While I put the phone down after speaking to my wife for the third time, my handset started ringing again. I picked it up casually and kept staring at the screen as if something hard had hit me. Flashing on the screen was my driver’s name, number and photograph ( he had insisted me to carry his photo on the phone alongside his number). I picked the call immediately and he said: Saab, aap call karti rahe mujhe ? It took me a minute to first be sure that the guy is calling himself, I recognized his accent and urge to speak in Hindi.

The next statement was mine, Raja where are you to which I got his reply: Saab, aap mujhe ghar bhej diye aur mujhe khushi ho gaya. Aapko office drop karke mein apne home ko aa gaya. Mera wife bohot khush ho gaya main aaj jaldi ghar aaya. I was dumfounded, dumbstruck, dumb assed, dumb kicked…whatever word can one thing of insanity and dumbness. I closed my eyes for 10 seconds and thought about what I had last said to Raja. My words were : GO HOME…, whose home was the missing piece ??? I well understood now that my innocent fellow had interpreted GO HOME as GO BACK TO HIS OWN HOME??? The guy must have been overjoyed for a chance to enjoy a noon honeymoon at home. And now he was afraid that I may be calling to ask him to return. And I was also sure that during his honeymoon venture, he would have kept the phone off and I was not able to reach him for the last so many hours.

Next, I politely asked him, Raja, phone off tha ? He said, saab long drive karke ghar aaya toh patta nahin battery finish ho gaya hota. Maine check karna to dekha phone off hua.

I was in such a situation that could not even decide what to say to him. So I asked him to just keep doing what he was busy with and come on time tomorrow morning. However, I started telling myself to be sure of saying : GO TO MY HOME ND DROP BABY TO SCHOOL AND THEN COME BACK TO MY OFFICE: to my driver everyday in the morning. I was half smiling now on the episode went by when again my phone rang : Saar, I reach your driver house, he is not home saar, no one home, house locked inside. I was about to shout at the guy that if the house is locked from inside then how come no one is home. But I decided to let go, was jut relieved that my driver was ok and the other one was on his way back.

I called up my wife, told her the episode and we enjoyed a laugh mixed with embarrassment. It was four in the evening and my mind was no- where close to settling down for attending work. Around 5PM I decided to pack-up for the day and leave for home, and had to driver myself, no qualms about it. It took me a while to maneuver the traffic and reach our apartment, went up, hugged my family, exchanged glances with my wife before we burst our laughing and our daughter had a perplexed and confused expression watching our behavior. By the way, on the way back the other driver lost his wallet and was wailing so loud on the phone that I promised him another Rs 500 to make up for his losses.

The next day was a Saturday and in the morning my driver called me at 8AM: Saar, mujko temple mein jaane ka ho sakta hai. Aaj mein prayer karungi..aap bahut acche ho..madam and baby.

In a way, he was telling me that today he will not surface before he is going for prayers and will ask for our well being and we are very nice people. I did not know what to contest, his going to prayers, praying for us or we are nice people? He had caught me in a web of nowhere to hide so I just blurted one work:OK: and he also didn’t waste a minute in disconnecting the phone, lest I change my mind.

So this was going to be a Saturday of self driving. Trust me, it becomes nightmarish sometimes and destiny had already planned a daymare(nightmare in the day) for me or infact us.