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Amanda Andrew

Public essay writer

High Demand Kids: What They Are and What They Need When we talk about high-demand children, we might think it's a pathology or disorder, but it's not. It's a little-known term that refers to children with strong, lively, intense and very sensitive temperaments. I recently read about such a case on [link removed] and was inspired to write this article. They are not bad, they are not spoiled, and they are not difficult. They are very special children, with unique qualities and strong temperaments that can make parenting difficult in some cases. This is a real challenge for families, as many do nRead More...

High Demand Kids: What They Are and What They Need

When we talk about high-demand children, we might think it's a pathology or disorder, but it's not. It's a little-known term that refers to children with strong, lively, intense and very sensitive temperaments. I recently read about such a case on [link removed] and was inspired to write this article. They are not bad, they are not spoiled, and they are not difficult. They are very special children, with unique qualities and strong temperaments that can make parenting difficult in some cases. This is a real challenge for families, as many do not understand their children's behaviors and needs.

What does a high-demand child look like?

Such children are characterized by several characteristics. Here are the most representative of them:

Dependence on an adult. They suffer from anxiety when separated from family, cannot play alone or be without physical contact. These are children who seek hugs and need an adult to be in the same space with them when they are doing something productive.

Sleep problems. They don't need much sleep; the problem is that they have trouble falling asleep. It takes them months or even years to fall asleep right away.
Unpredictability. As families, we tend to use everyday strategies to communicate with children, but when you least expect it, a high demand child gives you a surprise because they are unpredictable, and what worked stops working.

Hypersensitivity. They experience emotions with great intensity. They are very intuitive and empathic and often have difficulty managing their emotions.

Curious and intelligent. These traits are very pronounced in the first few months: they learn quickly, are observant, and ask a lot of questions.
Creative. They have a creative personality, such as music or art. They are inspired and have a good sense of the world around them.

Three steps in dealing with a high demands child

The first step in managing this consuming parenting is to assume that there is nothing wrong with the child and, above all, that you, as a family, are doing the right thing. Families of very demanding children are often criticized, "You spoil him too much," "You spoil him too much," "He has everything in moderation..." These comments make them feel overwhelmed and guilty, with a constant sense that they are failing. Others will say that all children demand attention, and that is true. About that separately [link removed]. But the intensity of a child with high demands is on a different level, and only their parents know that.

The second step for families to pay special attention to is more active parenting, where more attention and affection are needed. He may need to be denied a constant request for [link removed] in school, but the desire for care should not be denied. This is a child who needs more attention and affection, and therefore more dedication and time. Many experts advise the opposite: "let them cry, it's not harmful"; "get them used to going to bed alone early" or "take them to nursery so they can socialize". However, I believe that if children ask for physical contact, attention or affection, it is because they need it. Another problem is capriciousness or difficulty respecting boundaries. It's not about giving them everything they ask for, far from it. They need clear and firm boundaries and lots of love.

And some helpful resources for you:

[link removed]

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High Demand Kids: What They Are and What They Need
When we talk about high-demand children, we might think it's a pathology or disorder, but it's not. It's a little-known term that refers to children with strong, lively, intense and very sensitive temperaments. I recently read about such a case on [link removed] and was inspired to write this article. They are not bad, they are not spoiled, and they are not difficult. They are very special children, with unique qualities and strong temperaments that can make parenting difficult in some cases. This is a real challenge for families, as many do not understand their children's behaviors and needs.
What does a high-demand child look like?   Such children are characterized by several characteristics. Here are the most representative of them:
 Dependence on an adult. They suffer from anxiety when separated from family, cannot play alone or be without physical contact. These are children who seek hugs and need an adult to be in the same space with them when they are doing something productive.
Sleep problems. They don't need much sleep; the problem is that they have trouble falling asleep. It takes them months or even years to fall asleep right away. Unpredictability. As families, we tend to use everyday strategies to communicate with children, but when you least expect it, a high demand child gives you a surprise because they are unpredictable, and what worked stops working.
Hypersensitivity. They experience emotions with great intensity. They are very intuitive and empathic and often have difficulty managing their emotions.
Curious and intelligent. These traits are very pronounced in the first few months: they learn quickly, are observant, and ask a lot of questions. Creative. They have a creative personality, such as music or art. They are inspired and have a good sense of the world around them.
Three steps in dealing with a high demands child
The first step in managing this consuming parenting is to assume that there is nothing wrong with the child and, above all, that you, as a family, are doing the right thing. Families of very demanding children are often criticized, "You spoil him too much," "You spoil him too much," "He has everything in moderation..." These comments make them feel overwhelmed and guilty, with a constant sense that they are failing. Others will say that all children demand attention, and that is true. About that separately [link removed]. But the intensity of a child with high demands is on a different level, and only their parents know that. 
 The second step for families to pay special attention to is more active parenting, where more attention and affection are needed. He may need to be denied a constant request for [link removed] in school, but the desire for care should not be denied. This is a child who needs more attention and affection, and therefore more dedication and time. Many experts advise the opposite: "let them cry, it's not harmful"; "get them used to going to bed alone early" or "take them to nursery so they can socialize". However, I believe that if children ask for physical contact, attention or affection, it is because they need it. Another problem is capriciousness or difficulty respecting boundaries. It's not about giving them everything they ask for, far from it. They need clear and firm boundaries and lots of love.
And some helpful resources for you:
[link removed]
[link removed]
[link removed]
[link removed]

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