Boredom Vs. Me

Today was really slow. No college, no assignments, no friends to hang out with. I was lying on my bed looking at the ceiling since forever! Thoughts about the secret mysteries of the universe were floating in my mind, how the all almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster created everything… The Pastafarian in me was lost in deep devotion. But my mind was getting tired of all these religious thoughts. There was a shadow lurking around near my closet. It was like a grey cloud getting bigger and darker every movement. I saw it materializing in a solid form, a human form, a smoke figure, looking slightly like Darth Vader, with hollow eyes. And that was when I saw it coming, The Boredom…

The Super awesome Kung Fu Ninja in me woke with a start. Boredom challenged me. I had to fight for my honor. So I made the first move, I used cats on the internet! Nothing could beat that. But Boredom was smart. He used crash and killed the lolcats website.

Me – 0, Boredom – 1.

I used my next weapon Facebook. It went on for a long time. *Refresh* *Refresh* *He he he Funny Cat* *Refresh* *Stalking my crush* *Refresh*

Boredom used clingy ex as its next move. ‘Hi, you are online?’ ‘Whom are you chatting with?” “I know you are online.” “Are you ignoring me?” “I am committing suicide!!!”

Me – 0, Boredom – 2.

Next move: God of war. I plopped on my beanie and unleashed my fury to avenge Aries.

Boredom used the simplest move this time, ‘Lag.’ Enough said.

Me – 0, Boredom – 3.

I was furious by the end of this. I knew what I had to do next. Listen to some loud Heavy Metal. I put in my Anthrax playlist and started headbanging. I started wondering why people consider this as Devil’s music. I mean, this defines heaven!

Boredom used a very nasty move. Mom! “Is there a reason to keep the music so loud? Keep it low, else I will give away the player to the Garbage guy!”

Me – 0, Boredom – 4.

Something enlightened my mind. Why had I not thought of this before? Such a simple solution. I went back to my bed, lied down, and reached for my bedside table, picked up the Hitchcock book, opened page 65 as I had left it off…

‘The living had flown seaward with the turn of the tide. The gulls would be riding the seas now…’

Me – Win, Boredom – Lose.